I need to vent a little here. My family is a 1800flowers filling florist. I can not change their mind that we need to get out. When it says you can substitute what does that mean? That if something isnt in stock you can substitute with something else. How do I get my family to GET RID of them. They are a corrupt company (1800flowers). How can I get them to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our shop has been slowly declining. So they feel we need to hold on to get orders. We have hardly any walk in and phone sales. I feel like I am lost. Sorry I need to vent, what do I do?
1800flowers is the WORST
- Thread starter KTudor625
- Start date
BOSS
FlowerChat Administrator
No need to be sorry... at least YOU know the real deal...
As for 800 substitutions... I don't think they allow *any* on company orders... florist orders are different...but as long as you don't get busted...
As to getting you family to understand, copy the wire service calculator from FlowerChat... plug your numbers into it, and show them that they are *probably* losing money filling... then if they still want to fill and lose money, you've done your part and it's on them...
As for 800 substitutions... I don't think they allow *any* on company orders... florist orders are different...but as long as you don't get busted...
As to getting you family to understand, copy the wire service calculator from FlowerChat... plug your numbers into it, and show them that they are *probably* losing money filling... then if they still want to fill and lose money, you've done your part and it's on them...
dhamil6490
Active Member
You might want to offer something to "fill the void" left by leaving 800. If you don't already have a website, get one and promote it. Boss can help here - it's what he does. I'll bet your family is motivated by fear of the unknown. Let them know just about every other florist who has dropped a wire service has been in the same boat, but quickly learned it's better to get a bigger bite of a smaller pie. Also you might want to show them how you can send orders without belonging to a wire service. Print off one of the relevant threads here and force them to read it. Let them know they are not powerless against the wire service. They have what the wire service wants. They just have to be brave enough to confront the monster. Have them call me - I'll be glad to talk to them and provide encouragement. I'm serious. Dan Hamilton, Blumen Garten Florist, 800.722.8232
BOSS
FlowerChat Administrator
Read this whole THREAD
And you can find the Calculator in THIS Thread in the first post by Cathy with the instructions.
Good luck...
And you can find the Calculator in THIS Thread in the first post by Cathy with the instructions.
Good luck...
BOSS
FlowerChat Administrator
BOSS's Quote of the day!
Yep... true enuf.... especially at holidays... nice to run around helping my customers, and not running around like a chicken without a head helping THEM~!
Eric S
Demoted Webmaster
Why don't you tell us why you want to get out and lets see if you can convince us. That way we can help you with the points that may help.
OB1
Joanne Plummer AIFD,CAFA
It would be so lovely if all we had to do is to blame an order gatherer for our success, or our failure. But I doubt that would be very honest.
Truthfully, if you have no walk in sales, and virtually no phone sales, then filling, or not filling an order gatherer sales may sink you, but in my opinion, you have much bigger problems.
Last week I was talking to a mentor of mine about my concerns about SEO and SEM and website development and my lack of tech skills, and how my website wasn't showing on the first page and how I would ever be a success in this tech driven world...and so on, and she said something very wise.
How did I succeed so far in the business? What did I do to become successful against all odds in this high tech world? What products did I offer that were so different, that, during the building of my success, I was able to build a strong company, when so many others were failing.
Turns out that high tech knowledge was not a part of the equation.
Today's world is very different. I do not argue that. And to further build my business I know that I must embrace this new technology, and make it work for me in order to become even more successful.
However, filling, or not filling orders from order gatherers may, or may not be the final straw, as it were, but in my opinion, that is not going to be the ultimate reason for failure or success.
I believe that there is much more happening in your family business that is impacting on your ability to move forward, and become profitable.
You should definitley explain to the owners why filling orders below value will not help to save their company, and using the templates here will help to explain that.
I think it has been explained very clearly why no business can rely purely on resold orders to become a success.
At some point a successful business must generate its own sales through satisfied clients that are willing and eager to spread the word about great product and service. And through those efforts, the business will automatically grow, against all odds.
But at the same time I encourage you to investigate why your phone and walk in sales have diminished...perhaps you need to revamp your image, your design styles or your entire approach to consomer service.
I'm not sure, based on the limited information you have given us. But one thing is for sure.
There is much more going on than whether or not you remain a 1-800 member.
Good luck to you all.
JP
Truthfully, if you have no walk in sales, and virtually no phone sales, then filling, or not filling an order gatherer sales may sink you, but in my opinion, you have much bigger problems.
Last week I was talking to a mentor of mine about my concerns about SEO and SEM and website development and my lack of tech skills, and how my website wasn't showing on the first page and how I would ever be a success in this tech driven world...and so on, and she said something very wise.
How did I succeed so far in the business? What did I do to become successful against all odds in this high tech world? What products did I offer that were so different, that, during the building of my success, I was able to build a strong company, when so many others were failing.
Turns out that high tech knowledge was not a part of the equation.
Today's world is very different. I do not argue that. And to further build my business I know that I must embrace this new technology, and make it work for me in order to become even more successful.
However, filling, or not filling orders from order gatherers may, or may not be the final straw, as it were, but in my opinion, that is not going to be the ultimate reason for failure or success.
I believe that there is much more happening in your family business that is impacting on your ability to move forward, and become profitable.
You should definitley explain to the owners why filling orders below value will not help to save their company, and using the templates here will help to explain that.
I think it has been explained very clearly why no business can rely purely on resold orders to become a success.
At some point a successful business must generate its own sales through satisfied clients that are willing and eager to spread the word about great product and service. And through those efforts, the business will automatically grow, against all odds.
But at the same time I encourage you to investigate why your phone and walk in sales have diminished...perhaps you need to revamp your image, your design styles or your entire approach to consomer service.
I'm not sure, based on the limited information you have given us. But one thing is for sure.
There is much more going on than whether or not you remain a 1-800 member.
Good luck to you all.
JP
BOSS
FlowerChat Administrator
Joanne gave you some very sage advice. Good job!
No shop in a normal retail sittuation can hope to survive as a filling station for anyone. 800clowers, FTD, nome of them. They are in business to make a profit on the order before they transfer it to you, and really do not care if you make any or if you remain profitable.
Like has been said, if you have little to no walk-in or phone biz you have a bigger problem than filling gathered orders. If you can not be profitable outside of filling orders you have little hope to be filling as well.
You really need to look at the total operation and see where your customers have gone and why they have gone there. Look at your perishable quality, are you offering the highest quality available, or have you sacrificed quality over wholesale cost in an attempt to increase margins?
Have you kept up appearences or as sales declined did you let things go in favor of conserving capital and giving customers the impression that you don't really care?
Are your delivery vehicals "newer" and not leaking oil in recipients driveways? Are the drivers neat?
Don't take these questions the wrong way, we have all faced them at one time or another and sincerely want to help and offer constructive criticism.
To help us help you:
What is your sales volume?(aprox)
How many full and part time employees? How many are family?
How many daily deliveries? How many weddings a year? Do you get any business from local funeral directors?
They're will be more questions I'm sure.
No shop in a normal retail sittuation can hope to survive as a filling station for anyone. 800clowers, FTD, nome of them. They are in business to make a profit on the order before they transfer it to you, and really do not care if you make any or if you remain profitable.
Like has been said, if you have little to no walk-in or phone biz you have a bigger problem than filling gathered orders. If you can not be profitable outside of filling orders you have little hope to be filling as well.
You really need to look at the total operation and see where your customers have gone and why they have gone there. Look at your perishable quality, are you offering the highest quality available, or have you sacrificed quality over wholesale cost in an attempt to increase margins?
Have you kept up appearences or as sales declined did you let things go in favor of conserving capital and giving customers the impression that you don't really care?
Are your delivery vehicals "newer" and not leaking oil in recipients driveways? Are the drivers neat?
Don't take these questions the wrong way, we have all faced them at one time or another and sincerely want to help and offer constructive criticism.
To help us help you:
What is your sales volume?(aprox)
How many full and part time employees? How many are family?
How many daily deliveries? How many weddings a year? Do you get any business from local funeral directors?
They're will be more questions I'm sure.
anytimeflowers
Linda
To add to the questions:
Do you have your own design indentity? What I mean by that is, when you look in your cooler, do you see designs different from those offered on the ws sites?
Has the decrease in phone and walk-in been during the past two years, or has it been steadily decreasing over the last decade?
How many family members depend on their total income through the shop? (This would be a really big consideration since you mention going out on your own.)
You don't have to answer in this thread if you feel uncomfortable with that, but all of these and many more need to be looked at and answered honestly by you if not the entire clan if you have hopes of surviving and flourishing. My guess is that all of you are probably suffering from terrible morale, and I can guarantee that if you are not up and positive, it will rub off on your customers.
Just some thoughts.
Linda
Do you have your own design indentity? What I mean by that is, when you look in your cooler, do you see designs different from those offered on the ws sites?
Has the decrease in phone and walk-in been during the past two years, or has it been steadily decreasing over the last decade?
How many family members depend on their total income through the shop? (This would be a really big consideration since you mention going out on your own.)
You don't have to answer in this thread if you feel uncomfortable with that, but all of these and many more need to be looked at and answered honestly by you if not the entire clan if you have hopes of surviving and flourishing. My guess is that all of you are probably suffering from terrible morale, and I can guarantee that if you are not up and positive, it will rub off on your customers.
Just some thoughts.
Linda
Seasonals
Well-Known Member
Joanne's insight and advice is excellent. I do believe there is a place for wire services in alot shops, however I do believe you need to explore them and see which one is best for you. If you are unable to have your family drop 1800, maybe they would be responsive to trying someone else. I'm sure you can get some 90 day free trials.
I went to your website and whomever in the family is in charge of it needs to step-up. Here is what I saw that I feel needs immediate attention:
1. Home Page featured bouquet for the week of Easter appear to be the bouquet that was used for Valentines Day.
2. No way to order online and it is in bold print that to order you MUST phone. That isn't user friendly. This is a local number. You need an 800 number.
3. When you go to Product Catalog it shows it may have been setup for a shopping cart but it doesn't work. You need to be able to order online. That is why the customer is looking.
4. When you click on the Product tab, once again it shows Red Roses (V-day look) You have no flowers under the Sympathy tab. This would lead a consumer to believe you don't do sympathy work. Then there is the Valentine's tab...still.
5. When you click on the Contact Us tab it also gives your hours for Valentines Day.
I went to the Teleflora Find A Florist site for your town. There are 4 shops that come up. They are very individualized and up to date.
I'm certainly not an expert in websites, but before I place an out of town order for a customer I go to the websites of florist in the city I'm sending to and I determine who is going to get the order by the way their website looks. Most times it's the only tool we have to see what the shop is all about. If their website is not appealing to me they don't get my order. I'm sure there are consumers that do the same. This may be one of the reasons your phone is not ringing.
Try looking at other avenues of improvement for your shop. You may be able to move ahead with other ideas. Good Luck to you.
I went to your website and whomever in the family is in charge of it needs to step-up. Here is what I saw that I feel needs immediate attention:
1. Home Page featured bouquet for the week of Easter appear to be the bouquet that was used for Valentines Day.
2. No way to order online and it is in bold print that to order you MUST phone. That isn't user friendly. This is a local number. You need an 800 number.
3. When you go to Product Catalog it shows it may have been setup for a shopping cart but it doesn't work. You need to be able to order online. That is why the customer is looking.
4. When you click on the Product tab, once again it shows Red Roses (V-day look) You have no flowers under the Sympathy tab. This would lead a consumer to believe you don't do sympathy work. Then there is the Valentine's tab...still.
5. When you click on the Contact Us tab it also gives your hours for Valentines Day.
I went to the Teleflora Find A Florist site for your town. There are 4 shops that come up. They are very individualized and up to date.
I'm certainly not an expert in websites, but before I place an out of town order for a customer I go to the websites of florist in the city I'm sending to and I determine who is going to get the order by the way their website looks. Most times it's the only tool we have to see what the shop is all about. If their website is not appealing to me they don't get my order. I'm sure there are consumers that do the same. This may be one of the reasons your phone is not ringing.
Try looking at other avenues of improvement for your shop. You may be able to move ahead with other ideas. Good Luck to you.
More thoughts:
Is your signage up to date- using your logo branding, clean & in a good location?
Do your delivery van have signs with phone #, same branding?
Can you repaint your store front to draw attention to something new?
Can you put in a new line that no one in your area has?
Are you on facebook(business)? I got 3 orders from there today.
Have you gathered email address to do campaigns? I got 4 orders from the one I sent out Sunday.
Can you start a points campaign on your POS? The customers love it, they get $ off their next purchase.
I listen to a motivational speaker on www.profitsplus.org. His name is Tom Shay. March 2010 is really good.
Wishing you the best. Go for it.
Is your signage up to date- using your logo branding, clean & in a good location?
Do your delivery van have signs with phone #, same branding?
Can you repaint your store front to draw attention to something new?
Can you put in a new line that no one in your area has?
Are you on facebook(business)? I got 3 orders from there today.
Have you gathered email address to do campaigns? I got 4 orders from the one I sent out Sunday.
Can you start a points campaign on your POS? The customers love it, they get $ off their next purchase.
I listen to a motivational speaker on www.profitsplus.org. His name is Tom Shay. March 2010 is really good.
Wishing you the best. Go for it.
Mikey the Flower Guy
It's a GREAT DAY to live, and love!
- Nov 10, 2002
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I would LOVE to say, you're gonna be alright, however, IF BY NOW, you're family has NOT seen the light, that "change" is not a light evening breeze, but a raging runaway train, then your business is sunk.
Base on the little you've "exposed" the problems appear to be internal, and as Joanne mentioned, it's NOT ALWAYS about technology, but, identifying yourself to YOUR marketplace, OUTSIDE of the wire service that you belong to!
Here's the likely "problem" with YOUR shop.......the customer base in your town, and surrounding, have "identified" you as a 1800 shop, and 1800 has developed an EXTREMELY polarized relationship with it's "clients", and MANY of your customers probably THOUGHT they were dealing with YOU, by way of an online entity, like 1800, since you've done such a great job, filling those absolutely worthless orders!!
As you've pulled back in product content, AND substitutions, to try and survive, in desperation, you've consciously decided to ACCEPT ALL ORDERS, at ALL costs, to try and keep going, and to be very brutally honest, you've made some pretty bad decisions!!
Look through FlowerChat....the "alarm bells" should have started going off, when over 10% of your business was attributed to 1800...by "giving" away SO MUCH of your margins, you WOULD have been FAR MORE SUCCESSFUL, had you offered YOUR OWN customers, a 20% rebate on direct sales, than giving away potentially 50% of your shrinking margins, to a leach operation like 1800!!
Here's the kicker.....1800 is very successful, it is YOUR FAMILY'S FAULT, for actually "allowing" 1800 to literally rip control of your fortunes away from you, because TRULY, 1800 really doesn't give a rats' arse about YOUR shop, and YOUR well being, and how hard YOU work..they just "care" about 1800, and when your shop is DEAD, they'll just move on.....it's called the "LOCUST EFFECT"
IF you want AND NEED, to stay in business, listen to what your FlowerChat mentors have to say....many HAVE NOT, and unfortunately, are no longer with us!!
Base on the little you've "exposed" the problems appear to be internal, and as Joanne mentioned, it's NOT ALWAYS about technology, but, identifying yourself to YOUR marketplace, OUTSIDE of the wire service that you belong to!
Here's the likely "problem" with YOUR shop.......the customer base in your town, and surrounding, have "identified" you as a 1800 shop, and 1800 has developed an EXTREMELY polarized relationship with it's "clients", and MANY of your customers probably THOUGHT they were dealing with YOU, by way of an online entity, like 1800, since you've done such a great job, filling those absolutely worthless orders!!
As you've pulled back in product content, AND substitutions, to try and survive, in desperation, you've consciously decided to ACCEPT ALL ORDERS, at ALL costs, to try and keep going, and to be very brutally honest, you've made some pretty bad decisions!!
Look through FlowerChat....the "alarm bells" should have started going off, when over 10% of your business was attributed to 1800...by "giving" away SO MUCH of your margins, you WOULD have been FAR MORE SUCCESSFUL, had you offered YOUR OWN customers, a 20% rebate on direct sales, than giving away potentially 50% of your shrinking margins, to a leach operation like 1800!!
Here's the kicker.....1800 is very successful, it is YOUR FAMILY'S FAULT, for actually "allowing" 1800 to literally rip control of your fortunes away from you, because TRULY, 1800 really doesn't give a rats' arse about YOUR shop, and YOUR well being, and how hard YOU work..they just "care" about 1800, and when your shop is DEAD, they'll just move on.....it's called the "LOCUST EFFECT"
IF you want AND NEED, to stay in business, listen to what your FlowerChat mentors have to say....many HAVE NOT, and unfortunately, are no longer with us!!
WOW such great advise. I do not feel uncomfortable answering any of these questions, I desperately need everyone's help. Everyone already has helped me just by posting on flowerchat. I have learned so much and want to be able to give back. I will take a look at the flower calculator and see what my family thinks, which will probably be tossed aside and not even addressed. I continually let them know the latest trends in the industry as well as everyone on here letting go of the wire service. However they, mainly my step-father, thinks that we can not survive without them.
No one knows we are a 1800flowers shop, we do not advertise that at all.
Eric S, the reason why "I" want to get out is b/c I know that the wire service is hurting us and NOT helping us. We DON'T get paid on the delivery at all, and when someone is not home they don't care about us, we leave a tag and then re-deliver. I have had numerous calls with 1800flowers and they will credit the customer regardless of any situation. Not fair in my eyes. Just more built up frustration.
In regards to walk in sales - we do have some, not like we used to. We have a lot of illegal vendors selling flowers nearby. They always seem to pop up on the holidays and steal a lot of our business. I have called the city plenty of times and NOTHING seems to be getting done about this. This has really hurt our walk in sales a whole lot. At this point I don't know how to get rid of them. Our phone sales are stronger than walk in.
I told my step-father that we should just become a sympathy florist. We do a lot of sympathy work. We have built a strong relationship with our funeral director and we are the recommended florist. So that is a plus.
There is a BIG reason why our shop has declined. People walk out of the shop if they know I am helping them instead of my step-father because I count all my flowers and my step-father just stuffs. His work is AMAZING, however, he puts way toooooooo much product in. For instance, today i filled an order for a $40 vase arrangement. I took the labor out and counted and added up all my flowers. he looks at it and then starts putting more flowers in. So I get mad and angry because of this. He just doesn't see it. He says he doesn't want to be seen as the expensive guy. I know the problem, but it is very hard to face.
In regards to the quality of our product. We rarely ever have complaints. We always get praised on how long our flowers last. It's mostly on the holidays that we get the complaining customer that wants their money back. We always do the right thing and compensate.
As far as our appearance. I repainted the front of our shop, purchased a new awning, designed a new logo and all. However I know that more needs to be done, it is the funds that we lack to re-do most of what I want to do. My step-father has the mentality that is, if its not broken dont fix it. We really need to update the inside sales floor. Not gonna happen. Delivery vehicle is not new, desperately need a new one. Again lack of funds. Sales volume not really sure because I do not handle that department. There is 1 full time and 2 part time employees, more on the holidays. Daily deliveries are pathetic. Some days none, some days could be 5-8. If we have a funeral could go to the funeral home atleast 4-6 times.
I started to do the weddings in the shop b/c my step-father didnt want to deal with the brides anymore. So I created my own business, chic... a floral boutique. I have space in the shop but it doesnt represent who I want to be as a business. I want to branch off on my own but don't have the necessary funds right now to do that and I do not want to be a basement betty. SO WHAT DO I DO?
I, Kristin have my own design identity, our shop Philip Haas' Sons Florist DOES NOT. When I am there I create my designs and they sell for what they are worth.
My whole family depends on the shop for income. The plus is that we own the building. If we rented we would have been out a long time ago.
In regards to our website, I had set it up myself and handled it. I am not at the shop full time only there to do the weddings, events and holiday orders, therefore the website (which I know is extremely important) got pushed aside. So in regards to the website questions that is my fault completely. But again I feel that since everything gets overlooked it wouldnt matter anyway. For instance if I created a promotion it wouldn't be used by some in the shop. The problem is that my step-father doesn't want to CHANGE. I want the CHANGE. I also wanted a cheap option for our site. I get easily discouraged and then I dont want to do anything. It kills me inside everyday but I am in a battle I am never going to win. At the same time I want to HELP my family.
I am hurt by all of this and am having a hard time moving on. I am still holding on to this because this business has been in our family since 1882. I do however try to find shops to freelance in so I can have a creative outlet. So where do I go from here?
No one knows we are a 1800flowers shop, we do not advertise that at all.
Eric S, the reason why "I" want to get out is b/c I know that the wire service is hurting us and NOT helping us. We DON'T get paid on the delivery at all, and when someone is not home they don't care about us, we leave a tag and then re-deliver. I have had numerous calls with 1800flowers and they will credit the customer regardless of any situation. Not fair in my eyes. Just more built up frustration.
In regards to walk in sales - we do have some, not like we used to. We have a lot of illegal vendors selling flowers nearby. They always seem to pop up on the holidays and steal a lot of our business. I have called the city plenty of times and NOTHING seems to be getting done about this. This has really hurt our walk in sales a whole lot. At this point I don't know how to get rid of them. Our phone sales are stronger than walk in.
I told my step-father that we should just become a sympathy florist. We do a lot of sympathy work. We have built a strong relationship with our funeral director and we are the recommended florist. So that is a plus.
There is a BIG reason why our shop has declined. People walk out of the shop if they know I am helping them instead of my step-father because I count all my flowers and my step-father just stuffs. His work is AMAZING, however, he puts way toooooooo much product in. For instance, today i filled an order for a $40 vase arrangement. I took the labor out and counted and added up all my flowers. he looks at it and then starts putting more flowers in. So I get mad and angry because of this. He just doesn't see it. He says he doesn't want to be seen as the expensive guy. I know the problem, but it is very hard to face.
In regards to the quality of our product. We rarely ever have complaints. We always get praised on how long our flowers last. It's mostly on the holidays that we get the complaining customer that wants their money back. We always do the right thing and compensate.
As far as our appearance. I repainted the front of our shop, purchased a new awning, designed a new logo and all. However I know that more needs to be done, it is the funds that we lack to re-do most of what I want to do. My step-father has the mentality that is, if its not broken dont fix it. We really need to update the inside sales floor. Not gonna happen. Delivery vehicle is not new, desperately need a new one. Again lack of funds. Sales volume not really sure because I do not handle that department. There is 1 full time and 2 part time employees, more on the holidays. Daily deliveries are pathetic. Some days none, some days could be 5-8. If we have a funeral could go to the funeral home atleast 4-6 times.
I started to do the weddings in the shop b/c my step-father didnt want to deal with the brides anymore. So I created my own business, chic... a floral boutique. I have space in the shop but it doesnt represent who I want to be as a business. I want to branch off on my own but don't have the necessary funds right now to do that and I do not want to be a basement betty. SO WHAT DO I DO?
I, Kristin have my own design identity, our shop Philip Haas' Sons Florist DOES NOT. When I am there I create my designs and they sell for what they are worth.
My whole family depends on the shop for income. The plus is that we own the building. If we rented we would have been out a long time ago.
In regards to our website, I had set it up myself and handled it. I am not at the shop full time only there to do the weddings, events and holiday orders, therefore the website (which I know is extremely important) got pushed aside. So in regards to the website questions that is my fault completely. But again I feel that since everything gets overlooked it wouldnt matter anyway. For instance if I created a promotion it wouldn't be used by some in the shop. The problem is that my step-father doesn't want to CHANGE. I want the CHANGE. I also wanted a cheap option for our site. I get easily discouraged and then I dont want to do anything. It kills me inside everyday but I am in a battle I am never going to win. At the same time I want to HELP my family.
I am hurt by all of this and am having a hard time moving on. I am still holding on to this because this business has been in our family since 1882. I do however try to find shops to freelance in so I can have a creative outlet. So where do I go from here?
BOSS
FlowerChat Administrator
May I ask... how old you are? How old is step daddy?
Me, i'm almost 55, third generation family business...Interestingly, my 21 year old step-daughter is now my manager. You sound a bit like her. I'm very lucky, she decided to adopt me, and I decided to teach her everything I know.
Like you, she want;s to take over someday, like your step-father, I hate change too. You have to form the balancing act carefully. Your best bet would be to ask his opinion, and ask for his advise. Sometimes, coming in the side door works much better than a frontal attack. And yes, we old florists think we know everything, and if we don't we @@@@ sure won't admit that we don't.
It took me some time over the last 2-3 years, to begin to let go, and it was not until I found my true life's calling outside of "work" that I was able to finally find joy in teaching her *my*"secrets". With each passing day, I'm more able to let go, let her and let God work in my life.
Someday step-daddy will come around, trust me, we all do. I'll be interested to hear your ages, been at this a long time. Have been where you are with my father, and now I'm there again, with my daughter. I'll reserve further comment, until I know the age gap....
Have a blessed Easter.
Me, i'm almost 55, third generation family business...Interestingly, my 21 year old step-daughter is now my manager. You sound a bit like her. I'm very lucky, she decided to adopt me, and I decided to teach her everything I know.
Like you, she want;s to take over someday, like your step-father, I hate change too. You have to form the balancing act carefully. Your best bet would be to ask his opinion, and ask for his advise. Sometimes, coming in the side door works much better than a frontal attack. And yes, we old florists think we know everything, and if we don't we @@@@ sure won't admit that we don't.
It took me some time over the last 2-3 years, to begin to let go, and it was not until I found my true life's calling outside of "work" that I was able to finally find joy in teaching her *my*"secrets". With each passing day, I'm more able to let go, let her and let God work in my life.
Someday step-daddy will come around, trust me, we all do. I'll be interested to hear your ages, been at this a long time. Have been where you are with my father, and now I'm there again, with my daughter. I'll reserve further comment, until I know the age gap....
Have a blessed Easter.
dhamil6490
Active Member
I have to disagree with Boss on this point. Step-daddy may come around, but will he do it in time to save the business? I think you need to be selfish here. Protect your livelihood by doing whatever is necessary, even if it means working for someone else. Step-daddy will probably take the shop down by trying to hold on to current practices.
Boss I am 29 years old and my step-father just turned 62. I am the 5th generation in the business. Like I said I grew up in the florist in a playpen in the workroom. I only started to take the business seriously while getting out of college. I worked there full time and really saw how the business as a whole worked. I began to looooooooooove it. Took some advanced wedding design classes, classes at the NY Botanical Gardens, joined flowerchat, googled anything and everything flowers. Gathered magazines, invested in my own wedding inventory to show to brides. I swear I feel like I have tried anything and everything to show how much of an interest I have. So I feel like dhamil6490 might be right. It hurts like h*ll to say it but I guess I have to live with it.
Today while doing funeral work while he told me to do one thing with an open heart 10 minutes later because of him stressing he told me to do something completely different. It does get frustrating so I just tell him "fine, fine, fine its not my business," I will just listen to him and what he wants to do at this point.
Yesterday on the way home I went into a local shop by my house to see if they need freelance help for events. I really just want to get out there and get my hands into flowers.
Since I have created my own identity for myself, how can I not be a basement betty? I guess now that is where I stand. Any advice?
Today while doing funeral work while he told me to do one thing with an open heart 10 minutes later because of him stressing he told me to do something completely different. It does get frustrating so I just tell him "fine, fine, fine its not my business," I will just listen to him and what he wants to do at this point.
Yesterday on the way home I went into a local shop by my house to see if they need freelance help for events. I really just want to get out there and get my hands into flowers.
Since I have created my own identity for myself, how can I not be a basement betty? I guess now that is where I stand. Any advice?
Is there a chance that The step-dad ( current owner ) might be wiling to sell you the shop and enjoy retirement.......Has that prospect been presented to him? Another idea is to perhaps address your concerns with his spouse, children, or family that is not involved with the shop and get them on board to the idea of wanting him around more..........to go places, travel, and do things.
OB1
Joanne Plummer AIFD,CAFA
Hi KTudor 625,
It's so sad th me that you are caught in such a difficult place. Without knowing the family dynamic, it is really tough to give any advise as to how this situation can be re-routed to a track that could satisfy everyone. I like Ricky's idea of trying to buy your step-dad out...and getting other family members to encourage him to cut back on his workload seems like a pretty smart step.
So, given that I really don't know much about you or the situation, here are some of my thoughts.
It could be that he is a total jerk, and simply needs to maintain control over the shop, and by extension, you, in which case that buyout thing may not work.
If that is the case, and it doesn't look promising for you to take over the shop, then I would think about moving on.
However, and I really feel strongly about this, I don't think it would be fair to work for another shop in your town. That can only lead to hurt feelings, and rumours, and could further impact on the relationship between you and your other family members. It may even result in you never being able to take over the family business one day.
If you really want to learn, why not investigate moving to another town where you may be able to get in with a florist from whom you can learn some really different stuff...you know, a style of shop completely different from the one you're in now.
I made a distinct effort to work for many types of shops before I became an owner, and it has served me really well, because I was exposed to many ways of solving challenges.
You may feel that this is imposssible, but remember, NOTHING is impossible, just some things are more difficult to achieve.
You may even be able to get a placement overseas through a college...our local college offers a one year position with a shop in Holland to one of the top rated students. Now, that would make your step-dad see that you are really serious about learning.
Or maybe go back to college to study finances. Then he would see that you are learning more about the financial end of things, and that may settle him down. Who Knows? But your future is your future, not his. Just try to remain respectful of the fact that he is still the ownerof the shop, and he's still your step-dad.
Much luck to you.
It's so sad th me that you are caught in such a difficult place. Without knowing the family dynamic, it is really tough to give any advise as to how this situation can be re-routed to a track that could satisfy everyone. I like Ricky's idea of trying to buy your step-dad out...and getting other family members to encourage him to cut back on his workload seems like a pretty smart step.
So, given that I really don't know much about you or the situation, here are some of my thoughts.
It could be that he is a total jerk, and simply needs to maintain control over the shop, and by extension, you, in which case that buyout thing may not work.
If that is the case, and it doesn't look promising for you to take over the shop, then I would think about moving on.
However, and I really feel strongly about this, I don't think it would be fair to work for another shop in your town. That can only lead to hurt feelings, and rumours, and could further impact on the relationship between you and your other family members. It may even result in you never being able to take over the family business one day.
If you really want to learn, why not investigate moving to another town where you may be able to get in with a florist from whom you can learn some really different stuff...you know, a style of shop completely different from the one you're in now.
I made a distinct effort to work for many types of shops before I became an owner, and it has served me really well, because I was exposed to many ways of solving challenges.
You may feel that this is imposssible, but remember, NOTHING is impossible, just some things are more difficult to achieve.
You may even be able to get a placement overseas through a college...our local college offers a one year position with a shop in Holland to one of the top rated students. Now, that would make your step-dad see that you are really serious about learning.
Or maybe go back to college to study finances. Then he would see that you are learning more about the financial end of things, and that may settle him down. Who Knows? But your future is your future, not his. Just try to remain respectful of the fact that he is still the ownerof the shop, and he's still your step-dad.
Much luck to you.
BOSS
FlowerChat Administrator
Your age difference is part of your issues... [side bar] funny thing, I got fired twice...by my grandfather...my dad never stood up for me, and it was over "his way" and "my way"... I also quit 3 times, all this between the ages of 17 and 30... But I always came back...
You may be right, it may be time for you to step out and let them swim for the dock alone... however, you may not have anything to go back to. I would stay away from the basement Betty gig if I were you. I would not work in the flower biz, unless you never intend to return to the family shop...there will be hard feelings...trust me. Even if they say there are not.
In today's economy it's kill or be killed, and by you going to work for someone else, or even on your own, it will be very difficult for him to see it any other way.
Where's your mom in thins game?
anytimeflowers
Linda
.....added to bosse's question of where does your mom stand?
I wholeheartedly agree that the main problem is the age difference, you are still just a kid to him, and he knows what he's doiing. That probably isn't going to change soon, if ever. Five generations of doing the same thing, because it always worked before, is a tough nut to crack, ( and unfortunately the downfall of many a florist). Added to that the fact that it is very difficult to accept an adult child's opinions as better than your own, and you have quite the hill to climb.
I will say this.....in the stuffing area. You cannot change what product the customers are used to overnight. As Boss said, you would be much more effective going in the side door. Not just with your step-dad, but with the customers. All people are adverse to change, especially as we age. You clearly in your mind are doing what you know is best for the shop dollar-wise on the stuffing issue. HOWEVER, this needs to be approached gradually, not in-your-face. Remember, these customers were used to the stuffing, they REALLY DON'T CARE if it is detrimental to the shop, they want what they are used to.
You are going to HAVE to learn to compromise with a genuine attitude of good will. If you stubbornly refuse to put more flowers in than what the customers will pay for, they will continue to be driven away. You need to put them on a VERY GRADUAL DIET. It's like putting a dog on a diet. If you just suddenly take away a quarter of a cup of food each day, they are going to feel deprived. Same with your customers, same with step-daddy. You take one flower away at a time, over a period of time. You will do more to save the business that way.
Definately get SOMEONE to do the math on the wire service thing. If you are bringing in ANY sort of profit, I would hesitate to drop it until you have re-developed a good local custom again. Every shop needs to do their own math on this issue, it isn't a one size fits all type of thing. I know what you are talking about with 800, no, they don't give a rats a$$ about you, they just need to keep revenue coming in to appease their shareholders. But if it makes sense to keep your inventory fresh, then now is not the time to drop them, just keep moving toward that goal.
I remember being that age, vaguely......everything was important and need to be acted upon immediately. So put yourself on a gradual diet as well, make it clear that you respect your step-dad's knowledge. Believe me, he knows a lot! I understand your frustration in wanting to move things along, but you MUST take to heart how very difficult it is to get everybody around you to change to your way of thinking over-night.
Patience and gradual change is the only way....seriously.....You could end up driving things into the ground faster by trying to do things THE RIGHT WAY, than if you take a more casual stance. I wanted my own shop from the time I was 13 years old, it was all I ever dreamed of. I finally opened my own when I was 36. I can honestly say that had I not gained a whole lot of experience in other shops, and just opened up in my twenties when I wanted to, I would have failed miserably.
So my advice, fwiw, is to learn all that you can, absorb the info you can glean, and try very hard for compromise. Definately DO NOT go down a road that will sever family ties, it's never worth it. What is wrong with continuing to build the wedding business through the family shop with your name? I've worked at shops where the designs had "Designed By....." along with the price tag. This would be a clear indicator as to what your customers are looking for.
Finally, do you know the 12-step program's prayer? Even if you don't believe in a higher power, the wisdom still holds true. Someone help me out here, because I don't know it by rote, but it helped me when I needed it. Something about courage to change the things I can change, humility to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I want to see you grow, the best managers learn to take baby steps. You have to remember that your step-dad has been around since you were in a crib, for crying out loud. You need to get him to respect you, and that will happen more swiftly if you emulate him WITHOUT ATTITUDE. Fine, fine....that sounds like you are humoring him, (which I know you are, ) but so does he and so he probably feels you lack respect for his wealth of experience.
Just try to compromise for now, and continue to build your own identity. I have more, but I will leave it here for now. Patience!!!!!!
I wholeheartedly agree that the main problem is the age difference, you are still just a kid to him, and he knows what he's doiing. That probably isn't going to change soon, if ever. Five generations of doing the same thing, because it always worked before, is a tough nut to crack, ( and unfortunately the downfall of many a florist). Added to that the fact that it is very difficult to accept an adult child's opinions as better than your own, and you have quite the hill to climb.
I will say this.....in the stuffing area. You cannot change what product the customers are used to overnight. As Boss said, you would be much more effective going in the side door. Not just with your step-dad, but with the customers. All people are adverse to change, especially as we age. You clearly in your mind are doing what you know is best for the shop dollar-wise on the stuffing issue. HOWEVER, this needs to be approached gradually, not in-your-face. Remember, these customers were used to the stuffing, they REALLY DON'T CARE if it is detrimental to the shop, they want what they are used to.
You are going to HAVE to learn to compromise with a genuine attitude of good will. If you stubbornly refuse to put more flowers in than what the customers will pay for, they will continue to be driven away. You need to put them on a VERY GRADUAL DIET. It's like putting a dog on a diet. If you just suddenly take away a quarter of a cup of food each day, they are going to feel deprived. Same with your customers, same with step-daddy. You take one flower away at a time, over a period of time. You will do more to save the business that way.
Definately get SOMEONE to do the math on the wire service thing. If you are bringing in ANY sort of profit, I would hesitate to drop it until you have re-developed a good local custom again. Every shop needs to do their own math on this issue, it isn't a one size fits all type of thing. I know what you are talking about with 800, no, they don't give a rats a$$ about you, they just need to keep revenue coming in to appease their shareholders. But if it makes sense to keep your inventory fresh, then now is not the time to drop them, just keep moving toward that goal.
I remember being that age, vaguely......everything was important and need to be acted upon immediately. So put yourself on a gradual diet as well, make it clear that you respect your step-dad's knowledge. Believe me, he knows a lot! I understand your frustration in wanting to move things along, but you MUST take to heart how very difficult it is to get everybody around you to change to your way of thinking over-night.
Patience and gradual change is the only way....seriously.....You could end up driving things into the ground faster by trying to do things THE RIGHT WAY, than if you take a more casual stance. I wanted my own shop from the time I was 13 years old, it was all I ever dreamed of. I finally opened my own when I was 36. I can honestly say that had I not gained a whole lot of experience in other shops, and just opened up in my twenties when I wanted to, I would have failed miserably.
So my advice, fwiw, is to learn all that you can, absorb the info you can glean, and try very hard for compromise. Definately DO NOT go down a road that will sever family ties, it's never worth it. What is wrong with continuing to build the wedding business through the family shop with your name? I've worked at shops where the designs had "Designed By....." along with the price tag. This would be a clear indicator as to what your customers are looking for.
Finally, do you know the 12-step program's prayer? Even if you don't believe in a higher power, the wisdom still holds true. Someone help me out here, because I don't know it by rote, but it helped me when I needed it. Something about courage to change the things I can change, humility to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I want to see you grow, the best managers learn to take baby steps. You have to remember that your step-dad has been around since you were in a crib, for crying out loud. You need to get him to respect you, and that will happen more swiftly if you emulate him WITHOUT ATTITUDE. Fine, fine....that sounds like you are humoring him, (which I know you are, ) but so does he and so he probably feels you lack respect for his wealth of experience.
Just try to compromise for now, and continue to build your own identity. I have more, but I will leave it here for now. Patience!!!!!!