> BANNED FROM K-MART...........
>
> This is why women should not take men shopping against their
> will.
>
> DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
>
> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
> husband accompany her on her trips to K-Mart.
>
> Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
> boring and preferred to get in and get out.
>
> Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
> loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
> her local K-Mart.
>
> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be
> forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
> cameras.
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
> 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
> the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
> M&M's on lay-by.
>
> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
> carpeted area.
>
> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
> told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
> blankets from the bedding department.
>
> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
> began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
> as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
> he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
> loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
> 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
> through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
> speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE
> VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least ..
>
> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
>
> Regards,
> K-Mart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joanne!
>
> This is why women should not take men shopping against their
> will.
>
> DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
>
> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
> husband accompany her on her trips to K-Mart.
>
> Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
> boring and preferred to get in and get out.
>
> Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
> loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
> her local K-Mart.
>
> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be
> forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
> cameras.
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
> 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
> the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
> M&M's on lay-by.
>
> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
> carpeted area.
>
> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
> told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
> blankets from the bedding department.
>
> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
> began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
> as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
> he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
> loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
> 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
> through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
> speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE
> VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least ..
>
> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
>
> Regards,
> K-Mart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joanne!
