Someone who loves you, has sent you this Thanksgiving Centerpiece, and we'd like for you to truly enjoy it. However it does come with a disclaimer.
YOUR CENTERPIECE HAS CANDLES!
Should you choose to light them, ie: create fire, we will not be held responsible for your stupidity should they burn all the way down into the flowers and create a larger fire in the center of your table.
We *highly* recommend NOT lighting the candles after your have begun to imbibe in spirits. And should they already be lit, you should blow them out before you get "lit". Should the "spirits" impair your judgment perhaps it would be best for you or one of your idiot relatives to remove the candles from the design so as to not tempt someone to light them in the first place.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. We do care and want to have you around for many more holidays in the future.
YOUR CENTERPIECE HAS CANDLES!
Should you choose to light them, ie: create fire, we will not be held responsible for your stupidity should they burn all the way down into the flowers and create a larger fire in the center of your table.
We *highly* recommend NOT lighting the candles after your have begun to imbibe in spirits. And should they already be lit, you should blow them out before you get "lit". Should the "spirits" impair your judgment perhaps it would be best for you or one of your idiot relatives to remove the candles from the design so as to not tempt someone to light them in the first place.
Thank you for your attention to this matter. We do care and want to have you around for many more holidays in the future.
