* Read to the end
* I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants? She hit me.
* How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
* I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
* When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
* Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
* Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
* Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
* Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
* Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
* Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
* I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants? She hit me.
* How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
* I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
* When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
* Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
* Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
* Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
* Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
* Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
* Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.