In need of cyber hugs

[pnyflr]

In the whole scheme of things, I had a pretty sucky weekend. Nothing life threatening, and I am thankful for that...just a crappy, sad couple of days. First, a while back I told you guys about my competitor closing, and that her two designers wanted to come work for me. I was uneasy in my stomach because while I was excited to grow my business and knew they would bring business with them, they both wanted top dollar compensation and specific hours, and I almost felt like they were trying to push me around. Well, they have now decided to open their own shop rather than come to work for me. I know it was a God thing that it didn't work out, but I am a tad disappointed as I could have really grown my bottom line. So the big plans I was making will now have to be scaled back a bit, but I still plan to go forward with much of it.

Secondly, my oldest who is a senior in high school said goodbye to three of her 4 best friends, including her boyfriend of two years as they are off to college. Great kids, in our house EVERY day. She is soooo sad. And we are too. I think I will need a straight jacket next year when she leaves. I am already a little verklempt as she starts doing the "lasts" that come with senior year. Last pep rally, last homecoming, last time she is in our community parade....she also has some firsts, like senior pictures that make her look 25, and taking one class at the local community college.

My youngest turns 8 today, and told me last night that she considered herself grown up enough that she didn't need me to tuck her in at night anymore.

I just need time to stop for one day, one moment, so I can savor it that much more. And, it doesn't help that I turn 44 tomorrow. I just feel old...and tired.

I am a total dork, I know...but thanks for listening.

 

[Victoria]

I send hugs... and advise you to reframe all of the above, it will give you a different and more positive picture to look at.

First reframe: You don't have to deal with the push around designers and can concentrate on how to improve your bottom line without the added pressures of diva world.

Second reframe: What a wonderful credit to you for raising such secure and well adjusted kids... kids who love their home enough to bring their friends to share in the atmosphere. You daughter will fill the house again this year, for I'm certain that's her nature.

Third reframe: This one is a bit more difficult because, well, it's your baby. But I speak from experience x four... they will always need you, perhaps not for a tuck in, but for hugs and ears and shoulders, heart, mind and giggles. Believe me.

Fourth reframe: Forty-four eh. I liked being forty-four. Sometimes I wish I still was forty-four. Every age brings cool stuff and fourty-four is no exception. It's just a number (you'll understand that when you're forty-four plus a day). There, I'm done saying forty-four now.

You are not a dork, you are a special woman who has accomplished much from today back and will accomplish more from today forward.

So again, hugs and smiles.

V

 

[KC Iek]

Sending you that HUG!!! We are here for you. As my Irish bride says, things happen for a reason. Sometimes, all of life's changes seem so overwhelming, but we are seldom given more than we can handle. Someone thinks you are a very strong person, to handle so much , back-to-back.
Best of luck to you,
Dave

 

[Twila]

I say "DITTO" to everything that Victoria has said....very sage comments. Been there - done that - have the plaques to prove it! Like Dave said...everything happens for a reason. Just hang in there.

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

 

[Aqua]

who knows, for what it`s god that they are not comming to work for you. Maybe destiny means it good with you in that way.....
sometimes everything goes wrong or you feel that everything goes wrong. But hey thats life. would be boring if everyday is sunshine, you turn 44?????? But I guess still 29 forever in your heart, so take a short break, and go on !!!!!!!!!
Hugs from the hot , sunny Germany!!!!!!!

~Silvie~:musical:

 

[SpringCity]

((((hugs!))))

 

[vikki]

The exact thing happened to me. My competition closed and the head designer wanted to buy in and be my partner, or work for me at top dollar wages. I said NO to both ideas. She then opened her own flower shop just 2 blocks from me. I decided that was a good time to expand my business. I enlarged my shop and added several different lines of inventory. She closed her shop 2 years later. She then wanted me to buy all her inventory that had sat there for 2 years, I said NO to that too....

You will be ok, you are extablished. The first 6 months or so you might notice a difference, as people will try out the new shop in town, but keep producing excellent quality, and fair prices and they will be back. Believe me there is alot more to running a successful shop than just designing. They don't have a clue what they are in for. And just the amount of money they will have to invest to open a new store will be huge. You'll be ok, just hang in there!

As for turning 44, don't sweat it... I loved my 40's and my 50's are fabulous!!

I also agree that you have raised very special children, it's hard to let them go, but so much fun to watch them fly!!

 

[vghstaffer]

My youngest son who returned from college in May, dumped his belongings on his bedroom floor and never touched them again. I rolled my eyes and just closed the door to his bedroom.
I spent the entire weekend doing 7 loads of laundry for this child to get him ready to return to school in a few weeks. He had enough clothes in there to outfit an entire third world country.
My oldest son who is 23, has gradually moved out and into his girlfriends house, came home to hoe out his old bedroom that will soon be turned into a "man cave" for my husband. As we rummaged through his closet I found the ESPN clay plaque he made as a project for art class, old papers from concerts, sports events and group pictures of his baseball team. He packed up his bobble heads and discarded a bunch of video games.
I came across Cat in the Hat, Spot's first Easter, The Fire Engine Book, which I read to him endlessly at bedtime when he was little. I put those aside for my (future) grandchildren.
When my oldest was born he had a condition where is aorta was kinked and wasn't allowing blood to flow to his heart (co-arctation of the aorta). My first baby and I were rushed to Buffalo Childrens hospital by plane and flashbacks of holding him and turning this tiny little creature over to the nurses for a very big operation he may not survive came rushing back.
Through the grace of God and some amazing doctors, he was here, chucking out his childhood and moving on to manhood.
My thoughts through the whole weekend were how lucky and fortunate I was to be blessed with their firsts and their lasts because in reality it could have gone very differently. I was proud that I raised confident men who were ready to leave their adolescents behind and face a big uncertain world with all of it's challenges and rewards.
At 47 it is time for me leave the safe confinement of raising a family, of being needed 24/7 and move on to the next stage of my life.
When so much of you revolves around the lives of your children, the only way you can grow is if you raise them to let you go.
I look so forward to seeing who I will become in this next stage of my life and so lucky that for all of the years I have been on the sidelines cheering for my children, they will be there cheering for me.
Every stage of growing up tugs at your heart. The comfort in that is, when it happens, you know you are not done growing up yet either.

 

[vghstaffer]

P.s. Hugs!!!

 

[pnyflr]

You guys are just the best. Stop. Breathe. Then get back on the treadmill. It just seems to be moving sooooo fast. I know there are lots of blessings in disguise that we come across in our lives. Things don't work out the way we think they should, and then many times, they work out better. And, as far as kids go, I want mine to not need me anymore because they are strong, successful and independent...I just want them to still want me around every once in awhile. And I truly believe I am not as old as my birth certificate says I am, at least mentally.

 

[Tracy D'Amico]

The depths of your sadness today will be replaced with greater heights of joy tomorrow. Or maybe the next day, but it will come.
<hugs>

 

[Palms]

Oh i hate those days. I cannot say anything better than Victoria said it.

Rather than tuck in your little un (my youngest is 8 next week), pop in and sit with her at bedtime, she will still want you to do this even though she may not say it. Well mine is gonna get it whether she wants it or not Mum knows best...

Can't offer any advice on the older one, i am not there yet and have no experience but the others seem to have some good advice.

If you need a good cry, get it out, then head up, tell your little girl she might not need a cuddle but you do!!!

And for the diva designers, ha, remember how little you take in the first year - well that has got to get split into two. People who think they know best seldom do, just sit back and watch the show.. I am sure you will enjoy the ending!!! And then up your game, i had competition open the other year, i would be lying if i said it did not affect me but I have found other ways of getting the work.

Good Luck and hugs from the Uk are on their way...

 

[Connie]

This new competition will only make you better!

Your children will never really leave you. As a good mother, you've given them roots and wings.

Age is only a number.

 

[herndonflorist]

You have hugs from me. the family stuff far outweighs the business stuff.
Who in their right mind would open a new florist right now!!
As for the kids, the blessing is that they are always there when you least expect it!
So keep your chin up, and 44 is not so very old dear ...believe me!!

 

[Rhonda]

hugs, hugs, and more hugs....
( I love my grandchildren - and my daughters saying "geez Mom, you were right") And they're never too old to tuck into bed, kiss goodnight.

 

[greatflowerlady]

I know the feeling I to will turn 44 in Sept.. My oldest is going to be 20 in a month and my youngest will be in kindergarten~~ I feel pretty good I know I will be able to really work on my business and get a lot done.think of it as a little more me time~~ good luck!! and HUGS!!

 

[RWK]

44 is nothing more than a number.........and be thanksful you have independent, great kids.......I am 46 and I treasure the moments now that I have Mom living with me....She just turned 72 this past Saturday. ...............and besides.......to let you in on a little secret.......We can have a lot more fun in our forties than we ever did in our twenties.........because we know just how far to push ourselves.

 

[elmo]

My friend, I just had a flood of flash backs. I was very active with my 2 girls,when the time came they were old enough to venture out with friends(and leave mom behind)was a sad day for me.Their friends always at our home to have hair and makeup done for proms and then their parts in friends weddings and so on.... this is a part of being a parent that is hard on us. We love and nurture all their life's... our part of learning to let them be adults is hard on us.I had to tell my girls this was a time in my life that was sad for me cause of all the years they were the main focus of every day. Today they are 28&1/2 and 30,we still need each other for support,laughter,tears and the rock bottom truth( if ask or not) if what we're
wearing sucks or your lip stick doesn't match, haha.... As far as the baby girl,she's just telling you she not a baby.
Honey wear your age with pride!!!!!!!!!!!! Embrace it and it be comes sweeter! Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!:blowkiss::blowkiss:

 

[LOTAKIDS]

In the whole scheme of things, I had a pretty sucky weekend. Nothing life threatening, and I am thankful for that...just a crappy, sad couple of days. First, a while back I told you guys about my competitor closing, and that her two designers wanted to come work for me. I was uneasy in my stomach because while I was excited to grow my business and knew they would bring business with them, they both wanted top dollar compensation and specific hours, and I almost felt like they were trying to push me around. Well, they have now decided to open their own shop rather than come to work for me. I know it was a God thing that it didn't work out, but I am a tad disappointed as I could have really grown my bottom line. So the big plans I was making will now have to be scaled back a bit, but I still plan to go forward with much of it.

Secondly, my oldest who is a senior in high school said goodbye to three of her 4 best friends, including her boyfriend of two years as they are off to college. Great kids, in our house EVERY day. She is soooo sad. And we are too. I think I will need a straight jacket next year when she leaves. I am already a little verklempt as she starts doing the "lasts" that come with senior year. Last pep rally, last homecoming, last time she is in our community parade....she also has some firsts, like senior pictures that make her look 25, and taking one class at the local community college.

My youngest turns 8 today, and told me last night that she considered herself grown up enough that she didn't need me to tuck her in at night anymore.

I just need time to stop for one day, one moment, so I can savor it that much more. And, it doesn't help that I turn 44 tomorrow. I just feel old...and tired.

I am a total dork, I know...but thanks for listening.

To heck with those two designers!! You are much better off!!!

As for your daughter... I am right there with you.. this will be the last of Marching Band, Show Choir and Dances for my 18 year old son (3rd son) and I promised that I will try and be at most of his stuff ... God Willing and the creek doesn't rise... Unbelievable that my baby boy has grown up! Now for him leaving the nest that is a whole different stroy as I cried like a baby when I left my oldest at college, but then remeber this is what we are rasing them for... to take flight and fly by themselves!!! And we have to let go to let them soar!!
Hard as hell and many tears!! (but they do come back to check in!!)

My baby turns 11 on the 18th of September... She was just a baby.. what happened?? It's so hard when they don't need you for thing anymore.

As for your age... Do you want to trade??? I want to be 44 again... Life is just begining.. I have a melt down every birthday as I can't be that old. I am just 39 aren't I????

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! EAT CAKE AND LAUGH!!!:bouquet:

Hugs from me to you!!! Life doesn't get much better than this... right????:squish:

 

[lizzie ann]

Sending you that HUG!!! We are here for you. As my Irish bride says, things happen for a reason. Sometimes, all of life's changes seem so overwhelming, but we are seldom given more than we can handle. Someone thinks you are a very strong person, to handle so much , back-to-back.
Best of luck to you,
Dave

Your Irish bride is right ....I too believe that things in our lives happen for a reason.....for the growth of our spiritual self. Take it one day at a time,and fill the day with love and goodness and you will find a great peacefulness for yourself. :squish: