In my quest to become the worst mom of 2009, I am off to a running start. I have already cleared a place on the dusty shelf in the living room, so that others can admire my award. I hope that I receive it about this time next year, so the glow from the Christmas tree that I put up two weeks later than I wanted too, and take down two weeks later than every one else does, will reflect off of it nicely.
Last night, after arguing with my oldest man/child, who is home from college and eating me out of house and home, I was so determined to win the petty argument we were having that I bet him $50 !!! I then quickly lost the bet and still could not concede. To which point we settled our mileage/ shorter route fight by driving around in the dark back the way we just came. I have been reduced to traveling home from work twice!, so I could be right about something. 'Cause I certainly have not been right about: his drivng skills, the need for shaving, his newly developed attention deficit problem, his transformation into a bat (night hours, daylight sleeping and a room that is becoming more cave like by the day).
Nor have I been right about the need to wash jeans before they can stand up by themselves, proper winter clothing, annoying cell phone habits, and the value of him not having an answer for everything. So I decide to die on my sword of know-it-all-ness, and bet him real money, not even a McDonald's gift card (that would ease my grocery bill) and LOST! A disgrace to mothers everywhere!
Less than 12 hours later, I promptly forgot to throw my adopted son?/husband's jeans in the drier and he was forced to wear a lesser liked pair this morning. After our peppy little morning chat regarding this matter at five am, and my completely diregarded suggestion that he go naked if it was that big of a deal, I dared to snuggle up on the couch for a few minutes.
Two hours later, I jumped up in a tangled knot of my nice warm blanket, nearly killing myself as I raced to the steps to call the youngest boy. He raced to get ready and sighed heavily at my petty insistence on brushing his teeth in such a crisis. As I threw $3(breakfast at the school, YUM!) at him after I made him change coats to the warmer one I prefer, he made it out the door at 7:11. See ya, love ya, have a nice day, be good! Bus comes at 7:12. Except not.
At 7:14, a neighbor calls to tell me that he saw Tyler standing outside, in the cold one inch of snow, no ice conditions that we are experiencing and didin't we know there was a two hour delay? I call the child back in, and he musters all the 13 yr old angst he can, "Unbelievable! I am too awake now to even go back to sleep. Really Mom, a delay for real? See, I told you I could have just stayed home."
Normally this would merit at least a glare from me, but I was preoccupied with brushing my teeth and using the curling iron at the same time, to the smell of yesterday's hair spray melting from the heat. ( shower- yes, wash, dry and style- no) I did manage "Don't take your coat off yet, I need you to to go start my van. " and "And next time take your shoes off before you come in this far" I'm sure he sighed heavily, but I had already turned the blow drier on, to dry up the huge amount of hair spray that came with one easy little squirt of the brand new bottle I just purchased, cementing my wild hair to my head, and shellacking my glasses to my face.
After twisting my ankle on the sidewalk( you'd think the owner would come in early to salt
)while wearing the coat I like and not the warm one, and the leather clogs that are not osha approved or even fit for winter, I came in to the and called my cell phone so that I could find it. The now wide awake child answers it, and says "well Mom, I saw your phone laying there, I just thought you didn't want it today. Hey, can I keep the $3, 'cause I ate two bowls of cereal here already. "
See ya, love, you, be good, have a good day son, and Don't miss the bus.
I'd go sweep the walks again, but my gloves are laying by the cell phone.
Last night, after arguing with my oldest man/child, who is home from college and eating me out of house and home, I was so determined to win the petty argument we were having that I bet him $50 !!! I then quickly lost the bet and still could not concede. To which point we settled our mileage/ shorter route fight by driving around in the dark back the way we just came. I have been reduced to traveling home from work twice!, so I could be right about something. 'Cause I certainly have not been right about: his drivng skills, the need for shaving, his newly developed attention deficit problem, his transformation into a bat (night hours, daylight sleeping and a room that is becoming more cave like by the day).
Nor have I been right about the need to wash jeans before they can stand up by themselves, proper winter clothing, annoying cell phone habits, and the value of him not having an answer for everything. So I decide to die on my sword of know-it-all-ness, and bet him real money, not even a McDonald's gift card (that would ease my grocery bill) and LOST! A disgrace to mothers everywhere!
Less than 12 hours later, I promptly forgot to throw my adopted son?/husband's jeans in the drier and he was forced to wear a lesser liked pair this morning. After our peppy little morning chat regarding this matter at five am, and my completely diregarded suggestion that he go naked if it was that big of a deal, I dared to snuggle up on the couch for a few minutes.
Two hours later, I jumped up in a tangled knot of my nice warm blanket, nearly killing myself as I raced to the steps to call the youngest boy. He raced to get ready and sighed heavily at my petty insistence on brushing his teeth in such a crisis. As I threw $3(breakfast at the school, YUM!) at him after I made him change coats to the warmer one I prefer, he made it out the door at 7:11. See ya, love ya, have a nice day, be good! Bus comes at 7:12. Except not.
At 7:14, a neighbor calls to tell me that he saw Tyler standing outside, in the cold one inch of snow, no ice conditions that we are experiencing and didin't we know there was a two hour delay? I call the child back in, and he musters all the 13 yr old angst he can, "Unbelievable! I am too awake now to even go back to sleep. Really Mom, a delay for real? See, I told you I could have just stayed home."
Normally this would merit at least a glare from me, but I was preoccupied with brushing my teeth and using the curling iron at the same time, to the smell of yesterday's hair spray melting from the heat. ( shower- yes, wash, dry and style- no) I did manage "Don't take your coat off yet, I need you to to go start my van. " and "And next time take your shoes off before you come in this far" I'm sure he sighed heavily, but I had already turned the blow drier on, to dry up the huge amount of hair spray that came with one easy little squirt of the brand new bottle I just purchased, cementing my wild hair to my head, and shellacking my glasses to my face.
After twisting my ankle on the sidewalk( you'd think the owner would come in early to salt
)while wearing the coat I like and not the warm one, and the leather clogs that are not osha approved or even fit for winter, I came in to the and called my cell phone so that I could find it. The now wide awake child answers it, and says "well Mom, I saw your phone laying there, I just thought you didn't want it today. Hey, can I keep the $3, 'cause I ate two bowls of cereal here already. " See ya, love, you, be good, have a good day son, and Don't miss the bus.
I'd go sweep the walks again, but my gloves are laying by the cell phone.
