my kids

[Palms]

my kids were left out big time tonight, and guess what,.... they knew it... i wanted to take every tear for them but couldnt. And tonight my heart is breaking....#



some people, namely adults are so cruel without thinking, how bad is it when a 7 and 8 year old feel unwanted. my family need educating, sorry but needed to share, my heart feels heavy tonight xx and i could fill the pond with these tears. i feel so out of control for their feelings xx

 

[Victoria]

Paula, what on earth happened?

You're right, family can be completely insensitive to feelings. Give them extra hugs and let them talk.

Hugs to you as well my friend.

V

 

[kynda]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Hang in there.
Kynda

 

[Knife's Wife]

Palms, Sorry to hear your heart is breaking for your children. It is the hardest part of being a mother, isn't it? I have cried many times for my children over the cruelity of others.

Your in my thoughts and so are your children.

Sometimes people just suck!
Joan

PS: Notice I clarified that statment this time with SOMETIMES!

 

[aileen_c]

So your family purposefully left out your kids from something? Did I get that right? How cruel is that. So sorry...well just do something extra special for them...REALLY extra special. This will help and they will remember MOM for it!

 

[Palms]

Sorry folks i shouldnt have posted but you know when you just need to vent, and to people who are completely out of the situation.

There are six children under 9 and then a couple of toddlers in our family which is a big family (my mum was one of eight). My kids are the same age as two of my aunties kids as they left it late to have them.

But because they are "aunties" and i am only a niece my kids dont get to do the stay overs, dont get to have the same dresses on at parties, dont get to go the caravan with each other. And one of my aunties just loves to make me know where i stand in the pecking order of the family.

They even got left out of a christmas dip which my family hold as one of the aunties decided that great grandchildren should not be in this dip, and only grandchildren should be. Bear in mind that my family spend a lot of time together and my children do not know the difference between the relations. So in effect this meant that the other kids got called to the tree to get presents from santa but my kids didnt. Needless to say i dont go to that christmas party. (my mum buys them a pressie now and takes them).

Tonight was just another night when all the other kids got to have a sleep over and mine didnt and while that sounds as if it is so petty, it is just the straw that broke the camels back. To a seven year old, watching everyone get tucked up AGAIN and not her is not nice. She was really upset and i know it was because she feels left out of this loop that has been created. But my daughter being her just put on a brave face as she is so sweet. When we got home she sobbed her heart out.

I am talking to my mum today, my family have made me so upset where my kids are concerned and one of my aunties seems so jealous and bitter towards me that she wants to hurt me where she knows she can get to me(my kids). I am going to distance myself big time as i can not keep getting upset like this and i dont want my kids to feel like they are bottom of the pecking order.

Sorry i know i have rambled, and i know this sounds petty but pls believe me, there is much more to this with this woman. I have even tried to be her friend.... I dont know what else to do and i am so upset i have tears spilling as i type this. I really wanted to be part of a big family.

 

[rewolf]

Family can be hurtful.

I have twin 7-year old boys and I can feel your pain regarding them understanding when they have been left out. It seems no matter what we Moms say, the big tears won't go away.

Talking to your mom is a start. And, if she cannot help your situation with your Aunt - then I do think you are right in putting space between you and them. It's just not healthy to put your children in a situation where they are going to be left out of an activity and feel abandoned.
You want your children to experience being inclusive and not exclusive because they are going to carry that behavior into adulthood.

 

[Glamflowers]

Paula, so sorry to hear you and your children have been so upset. I think you were totally justified in your post don't feel sorry for posting, as you said it helps to get things off your chest and sometimes explaining things to others makes you see it differently. You are among friends here, and we are here for you to share, good, bad & ugly!
I have no answers to your problem, although I do think it is something deep rooted that will not be resolved easily. The only thing I can say to you is that it's a learning experience for your kids (not a nice one I know especially, at such a young age) and your kids have a loving Mum who is there to protect them and give them a balanced out look on life and it's ups and downs. Try not to dwell on it, your kids will bounce back I'm sure.
Sending you hugs to help you through.xx

 

[Victoria]

Paula, talk to your Mum for certain.

A bit of a solution might be (if all this can't be resolved with the moronic aunt) to plan a special event with your kids as soon as you hear of another one of these scenes from your aunt. Build your own fun traditions of tucking up with their own special friends.


V

 

[Chezbloom]

I would take your kids on a fantasic vacation somewhere and just have a blast! Send a postcard to the jealous one! And just be glad you don't actually have to live with her. Try not to be too sad. Kharma is an ass biter. My family is pretty much like an episode of East Enders.

 

[aileen_c]

Yes, Paula distance is the right path and a GOOD thing for your kids. As parents our priority is the safety of our children. That includes protection of their spirit. This person is purposefully doing this to CHILDREN...they should be ashamed of themselves. You are completely in the right to keep your children away from hurtful family members. Think about this...if someone outside the family was doing this to your children how would you react?? So do what you feel is best!! I like Chez's idea...a little bit of "in your face" could make you feel a bit better and the vacay would make the kids smile!!

 

[Victoria]

....................................................................... Many many green dots for you Aileen

V

 

[Palms]

........................................... for all of you.

Thank you so much guys for just listening and giving me some great advice. I suppose this problem has been going on for years.

I feel a bit daft for getting upset about it, there are so many problems in the world and we live such a priviledged life, so head up for me now and getting on with it. To hell with people who want to make me feel bad.

I cant stress how much this little rant has helped me see clearly. Thank you so much.

Paula xxxx