New Paths... be aware of the life you have.

Victoria

Victoria

New Member
Oct 31, 2002
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London
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Ontario
Some of you know I've been on a medical leave for the past several months (I'm fine now). During the time off I've been feeding my spirit by taking care of fur people. I'm forever grateful to the dogs and cats who have crossed my path these many months for they have given me solace, perspective and a new road to travel.

One of my clients is a professional with three dogs and four cats, all of whom have been rescued from kill facilities (Ohio) or have been dumped because their usefulness had expired (sometimes I really hate people).

During my visits with my client and her critters, she shared some devasting news... she has been diagnosed with early onset dementia (Altzheimer's). She is no longer able to work, and driving privileges will likely be lifted next week. Her independence is being eliminated piece by piece.

At anyrate, she and I have forged a bond over these months and her family (all out of town) approached me to be her caregiver. I have no experience in this venue, but I have friends and family in the medical field. I talked endlessly with them and decided that this is something I need to do.

So, I'm not returning to the job that doesn't feed my soul. Rather I'm going to spend time watching a friend disappear and hopefully ease her journey.

I am fortunate to still be able to participate in this forum (a touchstone on some days) and I have a wedding to do for another friend this coming December. As a result, I'll need to pick brains (from those who will share).

I'm forever grateful to be a member here... it's not always just about business.

Thank you for listening.

V
 
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V,
You may not have "experience in this venue" but , judging from your posts since I've become a FC member, you have a BIG heart
and as Boss pointed out, are a real friend. Keep your friends here in the loop and we will provide all the emotional support that you need. Taking care of a loved one is emotionally draining -please lean on us for whatever strength you can draw from us.
You are in my prayers.
Emily
 
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Ah V, through you (and your darling daughter) I have been to South America and through Africa........you have taken me to places I never thought I'd see actual pictures of through the lens of life. (and imagined the travel so pictured) You've been through good and bad and seemingly come through all adversity with a smile and gentle thought. I think you are perfect for the job but having seen the disease with other people whom I have known, the toughest job lies ahead. I hope and pray God helps you through the tough times and allows your friend a gracious passing into her next life. As I said, having seen it 'tis one of the most admirable things someone can do, be patient, caring, and aware for those who can not do the same due to the disease. I wish you the best and please stay in touch. (as I know you shall) Hugs
 
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V, i am convinced you will do well in this. Life is too short to be doing something you are not fulfilled in. We are only here once, I am sure you friend will be thrilled that you are going to help her get through her illness with dignity. :)
 
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Just from what I have seen of you here on FC I beleive you will be exeptionally well suited to this challenging task, good luck and best wishes to you.

FYI One of my favourite authors, Terry Pratchett, suffers from early onset Alzheimer's - there is a documentary about him in relation to the illness which I hear is very good (I have the doco but haven't had the time yet to watch it) you might want to search for it. He is doing a lot towards raising funds for research into the condition. Here is a speech he gave on the topic http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1986843/posts.
 
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Thank you so much for your encouraging, and kind thoughts and words. They are always needed.

Rhonda, Alana's journey continues in December and January as she and Shawn are heading to Argentina and Antarctica. Stories and pictures to follow.

Todd, thank you so much for the link to Terry's blog. His words capture much of what I'm seeing in my friend. I've shared the link with her family.

I appreciate any information people can share.

Flowerchat family, I thank you again.

V
 
V - No matter where you are or the walk of life takes you, you will always be a part of our FC family if I have anything to say about it.
 
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Dee Dee... what a beautifully simple way to put it. Thank you for that.

Missy... thank you for your words and more.

Rick... thank you so much, your kindness is appreciated so much.

V
 
What a moving post. You obviously have great courage, strenght and kindness that your friend see in you. Asking you to do this very important duty for her will be tough but she obviously see you as a very special person. I wish you and your friend all the very best and please keep posting.
Jo
 
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Thank you my Flowerchat Family.

I keep a journal of sorts of the day to day experiences with my friend. I send these to her family... and now you.

Some of you are familiar with the journey's I post here. This one has no pictures (except words), and it's written by me and not my beloved daughter.

I thank you for allowing me to share with you.

V

Hi all:

If days are measured in increments, then today was a good day. It was a gift of sharing stories of our past and living the present. Yes, it was a good day.

A goal should always be to learn about the people with whom we share the world. xxxxxx and I did that today. I learned she and I had contentious relationships with our mothers (there are whose who would say "who doesn't"). We also discovered we both hitchhiked back in the day (my late mother would be horrified to know that). We both partied in University ( a pox on gin), we consider our collective children, their spouse, and significant others to have not aged beyond teenage years (sorry guys) and should therefore bend to our ancient rules. We both love(d) and rescue(d() animals, or perhaps they rescued us. So the upshot is, no matter the circumstance, we are connected. I love that about humanity.

I'm grateful that xxxxxx feels comfortable with me... enough that she can call me when she's not sure of something. I told her today as we were sharing a lunch el fresco, that I was grateful for the gift of having her, the family and of course the furry family in my life. She said, "vice versa'. That's a gift I will treasure.

I do notice with more clarity now, subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) the changes in xxxxxx'x memory and day to day experiences. It's not that these experiences are glaring, rather they are more clear to me.

"Is that Lucy or is that the other black cat?" Yes, it's Lucy. There is no other black cat.

I asked today if there are any day trips she would enjoy. Without hesitation she said,
"No, I have everything I need right here". With that being said, I do think the days of extended time away from what is familiar are numbered.

She was preparing to go to a birthday party tonight. I unleashed my inner florist and prettied up a card and gift certificate for her to present to the birthday person. She didn't really want to go. I suggested she go for just a while and to come home when she felt like it. You won't remember the song "It's My Party", but xxxxxx did. I changed it for her... "It's not my party and I'll leave if I want to...". She laughed and nodded. We'll see.

Yes, it was a good day and I value the gift of that.

Take care of each other.
 
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V (((((((hugs for you both and your families))))))))

This path that has chosen you will be an emotional one, and I really can't think of anybody who will be as helpful as you, simply because of who YOU are. There will be dignity and grace for your friend, and during the times that she can't remember that, you still will, because you so graciously provide it. It will be extrememly painful for your friend at times as she slips from one reality to another, and she may become angry and resentful out of her fear at "losing her mind".

Teach her to laugh.

V. Anytime, always, we are here for you.
 
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Victoria.. Blessing to you on your new adventure of taking care of your friend. Her family saw a compassionate caring person in you. Stay strong and let us know how you are doing. Plus, you will need an outlet of friends to talk to during the process. I am here for you!
 
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we keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

There are time(s) in our lives where we are placed in positions where we can choose to be an influence or make a difference. They may not impact a large portion of humanity but just a small tiny portion of our world. Some of us choose yes, other decide they couldn't be bothered.

Thanks for choosing to make a difference in your friends waning days. I think you are well equipped to handle all that the journey will bring.

The chat and all of us, will be here - only a computer click away.
 
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