Off Topic Product Recall

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BOSS

FlowerChat Administrator
Oct 31, 2002
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Midland
www.smithsflowers.com
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MI
RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed..

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion


The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, downloadATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.


No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7.. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control


Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes..

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.


DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!



- GOD


P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.
 
Hummmm.....wondering about using this as a devotion for the next deacon's meeting.........
 
Hummmm.....wondering about using this as a devotion for the next deacon's meeting.........


You ain't the only one who just might use that.
 
.....although the exact wording escapes me at the moment, I don't think there is much chance of God going bankrupt - because as I understand it, I am laying up treasure in Heaven that does not rot, moths don't consume, and it only appreciates in value.

Also, my understanding is that God has so much, that He gives it to us.....Shaken, Pressed down, and still running over.
 
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