What has happend?

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shannonlovesflowers

shannonlovesflowers

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Oct 16, 2007
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So I read Cathy's response to Joe in another thread about wedding pick ups.

I'm feeling a little melancholy today.......

what is going on in the world??

When did blushing brides become bridezillas?

Why do people get so nuts over such insignificant matters. Shouldn't the marriage mean more than the flowers or the food?

Don't get me wrong, We always do the best job we can, but in another thread there was someone saying they had a bride "cry and cry over leonidas roses being too bright"

I don't get it.

I mean there are small children waking up in Africa right now with no one to take care of them but their 7 year old brother. And so many more tragedies it makes me crazy thinking about how anyone could get so bent over bright leo roses....
Crazy.

Yesterday A family came into the store to order the family flowers for the funeral of their teen aged child. The kid died in a mototcycle accident. Everyone was laughing and happy and having a good old time. I swear, they were even taking pictures! really "action shots" of them ordering the flowers. I swear the strangest experience I've ever EVER had with a anyone ordering any type of funeral flowers. Natalie was waiting on them while I was cleaning up the store, it was all we could do to maneuver ourselves out of the photos. She looked at me with a "What the hell is going on" look on her face. I seriously didn't know what to do.
I know people grieve in all sorts of ways but this was just way out there.
Every time I think the craziest thing has happened something like this happens.

I can remember in years past florists being friendly with each other, even if they were in the same town.

Now I hear so much of designers protecting their knowledge from designers they work right beside in the same shop. What?

And so much of "I'm right and you're wrong and this is how it's done and if you don't do it that way you're stupid" so to speak.

And non designers telling designers how disposable they are all the time.
Why? Why do they do that?

I get so defensive and mad.
Why? I'm a pretty good designer... Why do I let that get to me?? Why do I always feel like I have to prove myself and also to stick up for people that feel are getting ripped into for no reason?

Why do I want to be AIFD so badly??? I think maybe it's because then I feel I wont have to tell anyone I can design half way decently. It'll be a given. But this is the question.... Why do I need validation in the first place?? Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere.. But I don't have an answer.

I don't know...
Like I said I'm feeling a little melancholy. hope I get over it soon.

Thanks for reading.
 
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Shannon,

I will address just a tiny part of your post, which I could relate to.

My little brother died a month shy of turning 16 (way back in 1977). It was the day before my 22nd birthday. It was sudden and unexplained (even after an autopsy). It was so tragic!

Within a couple hours of finding out, we had all assembled at my mom's house. We found ourselves around the kitchen table. We were talking about Allen, and laughing about how funny and fun he was, recalling specific things he did and said. It was weird, but natural. We were laughing and laughing, maybe to keep from crying.

Various friends and coworkers of my mom's arrived, giving us the weirdest looks because were laughing. Felt funny, but we were remembering him, and that made us happy, if only for a few minutes.

Granted, I can't understand taking pics at the flower shop... maybe they were caught up in good feelings... I can't say.

Anyway....
 
I too, want to address only one small part of your message. A few years ago, a family came into our shop to order funeral flowers for their father. They too were laughing, joking and taking pictures. As we were friendly with the family, we attended the calling hours and funeral as well. The calling hours and funeral were video taped by a professional. As we were all exchanging strange looks, someone explained to us that the sister of the deceased could not attend for health reasons and was extremely upset. The family decided to tape the services, so she could watch them and share in the stories, the condolescences, the healing wishes - I guess to experience the service almost as if she were there.

Although, I still think it was strange - the compassion they displayed for their aunt, while they were grieving - touched my heart. Perhaps, it was something like this.
Leah
 
Shannon, I send you a cyber hug. There are rarely explanations for odd behaviours that will make sense to the observers.

V
 
shannon i so agree, whilst obviously i maintain that we play an important part of anyones big day, funeral or wedding, i am aghast at the emotive language of "one was devastated cos their rose did not last as long as they thought " or similar ghastly phrase.

I think of the children suffering today and will keep aside those emotive language for what they go through and not for a flowers vase life or wedding or funeral designs, or for that matter any other thing that in the long term does not "matter"

Thanks for bringing this post up, i say repeatedly (SP) that these people have missed thepoint of life :hug: family, health, friends etc......
 
Thanks guys...

I need all the cyber hugs I can get today. I'm really blue today, I don't know why......
Can't shake it. Trying really hard though.
 
((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))) here are a few more, hon. Tomorrow will be better. Right? Hopefully.
 
Shannon:

I'll address your post just like Beth did for some type of understanding.

My brother was killed in a car accident 16 years ago. We were all devastated, still am, actually. This was the first "premature" death my family had experienced. The emotions that funeral week were so intense. He was killed Monday morning. The viewing was Thursday with the burial on Friday.

That funeral week is one I'll never forget. Each moment is ingrained in my mind.

At the viewing, which was full of people, one of my distant girlfriends came. I hadn't seen her in sometime. Some of us girlfriends were in the viewing room and just chatting and my one girlfriend said some things, which I can't remember at this time, but it had me laughing. I couldn't stop. People were looking at me, but I couldn't stop. I knew that I was laughing because the pain was way too much to bear, and I knew the pain I was feeling was only the beginning.

As far as "premature death" goes, I put people in two categories: Those that know and those that don't know. I'm thankful for all of those that stay in the "don't know" category and my heart goes out to those that "do know."

As a person that does know, I no longer am amazed at how people act at the time of a premature death. I've seen grief show itself in the weirdest of ways.

Now, I have to say being at the florist and taking pictures is something I wouldn't expect. That does seem over the top.

I had one family where the patriarch of the family passed. Several of the family members initially came in, which I didn't know any of them beforehand. At that initial consult I became friends with them all. Well, if one got up to go to the restroom the others would talk about that person. And then there was rolling eyes behind the back of the person who was talking. It was a totally interesting consultation. Actually quite funny!!! But death makes people and families do the strangest of things.

I'm sorry about your feeling down. I hate when that happens to me. Just remember: That feeling will change. Thankfully the "down" feelings don't last any longer than they're supposed to.

I apologize for the long, mushy post. I got caught up in a moment. :)
 
Shannon, Hang in there!! Brighter days are on their way!
 
:hug:a big hug from me

people behave in the strangest ways especially in times of sorrow, often because they haven't got a clue what they should be feeling or how to express what it is they are experiencing

as for the bridezillas,all about me and holier than thou attitudes, don't let it get to you but the world would be a nicer place if people just wouldn't get all defrosted over the most insignificant things...chill pills all around
 
Someone once told me a precious line that I will never forget....and that is to ' Put on your lip stick and turn up the music ' Most times we can never really understand why people act the way they do....what they are thinking and their behaviour about certain things....I guess thats why we never actually 'GET' the 100% story....we only get half the story. So to me, as much as you are feeling sorry, its all good - don't let it get to you because at the end of the day there is actually nothing you can do....except for ' putting on your lipstick and turning up the music '. Hope this helps and you feel better tomorrow:)
 
"Don’t give up your power to situations and people that you have no control over. You can’t control other people. You can’t control the traffic or life, but you can control you. You have the power to decide how you respond to life. Exercise your power, take control of your thoughts, and aim your behavior towards actions and responses that will be to your benefit." Devlyn Steele

V
 
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We all handle emotion in different was. I once read an article about the greiving process, some people when stressed will laugh or giggle. I do this and it is uncontrolable.

I did this at my father in laws visitation and my dad just looked at me like I was crazy. I finally had to go outside to get a hold of myself. I thought the world of my father in law and felt bad that I could not control the giggling.

Loss of a loved one and stress can make us do strange things.

Anyway I hope you are having a better day.
 
Lizi said:
We all handle emotion in different was. I once read an article about the greiving process, some people when stressed will laugh or giggle. I do this and it is uncontrolable.
Click to expand...
I remember when my mom died, , we had no idea of the order of things. First thing we did was go to the probate office from the funeral home ... I guess people usually do that much later in the process, because they were unhinged at seeing people so raw. During the paperwork, I commented on the probate judge's gorgeous MontBlanc pen - my mom had a penchant for "borrowing" fancy pens, from work, from offices, from anywhere - she had a whole drawer full that we found. My brother & sister knew exactly where I was going, and one look at one another set us off laughing uncontrollably. It relieved the unbearable sadness, even if it was entirely inappropirate - I've never felt closer to them than at that exact moment.

Shannon - everyone wants to be justified, to be relevant. People think the world revolves around them and their situations, and sometimes it does. Sometimes it's even okay. I think if any one of those brides were confronted with their own self-absorbed behavior in the terms of greater sadnesses, they would be ashamed. Trust in the good nature of people, and their possibilities, rather than their limits and shortcomings. It helps.

tracy

ps I secretly know you want to be AIFD so you don't have to lift any more buckets :tongue
 
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It relieved the unbearable sadness, even if it was entirely inappropirate - I've never felt closer to them than at that exact moment.

Tracy,

That is EXACTLY how it felt to be reminiscing and laughing about my little brother. Exactly! Thank you.
 
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