Anonymous sender, enraged spouse - Need your input!! Please

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joanne

joanne

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Oct 31, 2002
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dunnville ontario canada
www.heathertonsflorist.com
State / Prov
ont
Hi all. OK back in december a gentleman comes into send flowers to a woman that works in town here, also a bag with a lovley stuffed bear with 2 small boxed gifts, (jewelry , diamond earings and necklace to be excat found that out the next day when i went to the bank. Ok she is Bank Manager and is wearing them. No problem . January we get a call from a out of town florist to deliver more flowers to the same lady. no card she will know who they are from . Feburary he comes in with a large bag bear choclates etc and orders 5 dozen carns to go with it for V day. Okay. Well wednesday night my phone rings at home the guy indentifies himself as this ladies husband , ok , who is sending my wife the flowers??? .O.M.G. i said well i dont know as i didnt wait on him , well could you ask your staff if they know, sure. Thursday at 9 am
he is on the phone again what did i find out , nothing as the girl that waited on him is off today . He calls back in the afternoon asks one of the other staff for her phone number (i was out). So he calls her at home and fires 40 questions at her. Same story we dont know who the gentleman was , why didnt we get name, why would we he paid cash and cards were signed and sealed. Sat am she calls me from her home asks what my hours are for sat and i tell her. She thens calls this afternoon and wants to know what our hours are mondaymy husband tells her . She just called hour ago and tells me he is coming to town with pics to see if we can help him figure it out,. OK Now im pissed!!!!. she knows full well who they are from , and i tell her on the phone i have about had it. She tells me she is terrified of what he might do, i said ok enough if he comes in and gets outta control you can tell him right now i am calling the cops. In 27 yrs i have never had this happen and im getting worried of what he might do as it seems he can be pretty scarry guy according to her staff as they have met him. Any one have any better ideas on this , as i am at whits end Thanks Joanne
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I would kindly tell them to leave if they show up at the store. You had a customer, he paid cash end of story for you.
 
Joanne, you can certainly tell them politely to leave. You do not need to get in the middle of a family dispute. If they insist on putting you there, you could suggest the police be called so they can figure out what is what or who is who... particularly if you have safety concerns.

V
 
Joanne - First, you need a firm written policy that no home phone numbers for your employees or you are to be given out to anyone without a court order - period. This is for their safty and privacy as well as yours.

Second - please create a store policy about anonymous orders as well.

Of course the wife knows who sent them and she is putting you all in the middle to protect herself.

I agree with Victoria and suggest you be kind but affirm that you do not know who placed the order and that staff is not available. If he refuses to leave, call the police. Might not hurt to call them first thing in the morning and give them a 'heads up' and ask for advice about the issue.
 
Please check the stalking laws in your state. We have had this problem from both sides and it will not happen again here! We have had someone threaten to hit a driver who was delivering flowers like that.
This is what we do: I ALWAYS take a name and phone number on every order and will not take an order for delivery unless I get this information. Cash does not exempt someone from this infomation . If it comes from another florist or WS I will call and ask them if they have the information, tell them that there are stalking laws here and that if there is a problem the police will be calling THEM(the shop). If they do not have the name and phone of the sender they can find someone else to fill the order- I don't want to be a party to scaring anyone.
As far as the crazy guy, I would refer him to the police dept PDQ since he has already proved to be a loose screw by calling your employee at HER HOME! It is between him and his wife. If the police come and ask for the information you will have to give it up. Perhaps a call to the recip early in the morning explaining this will help to avoid a confrontation in your store.
It is also important that there is a policy in place so no one will ever give out an employee phone number again- we learned the hard way.
 
Let her rat on her boyfriend and herself rather than your staff.

I'm with Lorrie - call her and tell her you are not going to allow her to put you in the middle, with a good hint or direct statement that if she does (put you in the middle) you are gonna spill the beans on her and let her husband know that she knows very well who the sender is.

Don't be any kind of party to the deception.

Don't co-sign for the cheating b*tch (oops, did I say that?)
 
Same as above - we do take name/phones with all orders, and if a sender asks "you won't tell them who sent it, right?" we explain that if the recip calls, we will provide the name of the sender. Similar stalking problems at another place I worked taught me.
If you don't have the info, you can't offer it, so there isn't much you can do, other than sying you just don't know the sender.
I have a couple of questionable customers here, and it always makes me uneasy, knowing the situations. I'm all for cheaters getting caught, but I wouldn't want to be the messenger.:damien How stupid are they,or how stupid do they think the spouse is?
Do make sure you have reinforcements at the shop when they come in. Our small town police will come by in a heartbeat for small shop safety concerns, so I would call them today and have them at the ready.
good luck and be safe.
t.
 
When I get a customer wanting no card, I always remind them about the times we live in and let them know that if the sender calls I will be telling them who or where they were sent from. If the customer does not agree with this, too bad. After making them realize that a recipient can often be made uncomfortable when receiving something not knowing who the sender is, I have yet to have someone not continue with the order. As far as this scenario goes, the husband is not the sender or the recipient, so he would be told nothing. The order is not a matter of public information so I would not have told him anything at all.
 
I guess most of us have been through something similar to this. My answer is "sure, have the police come down and I will gladly give them all the information required. But not to you." I also tell anonyous senders that we will reveal their name for the recipient at any time.. but I would not do it for a boyfreind or husband.. I will do it for a parent of a child.
I once had a cheating husband threaten me with a lawsuit because his wife found out about his long time affair.. she had the money in the family and started divorce proceedings. I told him I would be happy to go to court and show all the different orders he sent to his 'friend' and here is my lawyers name.
And calling the police is a smart thing to do as soon as this guy comes in your door.. I also think telling the wife all you know about her previous gifts from this sender is valid.,. you are not her therapist and don't need to be in the middle.
Good luck & stay safe
 
Thanks all !

I went this am and spoke to a very good dective friend of mine that i went to school with. He is giving the OPP a heads up on this and if the husband comes in with pics we are to refuse to look at them and ask him to leave the store. If he refuses we call 911 and they will be there right away and he and she will both be charged with harrasment. God i got a screaming headache!!
I will keep you posted as to this matter. She will never get another flower from my store what so ever i dont care who wants to send , not gonna happen
Joanne
 
As a wife of a Police Officer and the daughter of a Police Chief, I would suggest you let them have a heads up on what is going on. To protect you and your staff. YOUR STAFF SHOULD NEVER GIVE OUT HOME NUMBERS TO ANYONE WITHOUT A COURT ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!

Your Bank lady is trying to protect her own hinny by putting it on you and that fact of the matter is she is the one that more than likely had her panites down. So be firm but polite and dont get involved in their problems. Even if you knew the guy sending the flowers I would think you would not be 'allowed' to give out that information.

Like Paul Harvey says, "your florist know every thing about every body in town and yet does not utter a word". You know who is dead, sick, has a new love, getting married, in the dog house, or is cheating, and you CAN'T say a word. Just this blonde's thoughts, Stephanie (good luck and let us know what happens)
 
Good luck

When we have the anonymous "no card" request, we always get a name and phone number and if we get flack- We tell them up front, when the police come in to inquire about the stalker who sent flowers (and it did happen to us) they understand in a heart beat. Most folks are good about it and would never have thought about stuff like that....... its the bad 1-2% that give us the grey hair.............
 
Inka said:
Good luck

When we have the anonymous "no card" request, we always get a name and phone number and if we get flack- We tell them up front, when the police come in to inquire about the stalker who sent flowers (and it did happen to us) they understand in a heart beat. Most folks are good about it and would never have thought about stuff like that....... its the bad 1-2% that give us the grey hair.............
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Exactly the same reason I ALWAYS get name and phone number. If they don't want to give me that information, I will explain the reasoning behind my insistence. And like you Inka, most understand.

I too have been interviewed (grilled) by the police. That's not fun and certainly not part of my job description! You don't want to give me the info, then buy your flowers elsewhere.

V
 
Joanne - First, you need a firm written policy that no home phone numbers for your employees or you are to be given out to anyone without a court order - period. This is for their safty and privacy as well as yours.
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That employee needs to be seriously dealt with. If I was the girl at home, who got a call from this crazy guy because a fellow worker gave it out, I' be ticked. That is CRAZY!

P.S. - Give me the guys phone number, I'll call from Oregon and tell him, your wife knows who I am, why don't you ask her? And then explain to him that you probably didn't know this, but she likes to wear men's underwear to the gym and has a nasty habit of stealing from the bank she works at. I see it as helping ones Karma into the express lane and just getting it over with.

-Ok, I really wouldn't say that. lol

GL!
 
Actually Brandon I think, because Dunnville is not a large city, people know people... hopefully the person handing out the phone numbers will have learned a valuable lesson. Also be aware that some people can very easily "cow" others into doing what they demand.

V
 
CHR said:
Sure - and a bunch of those people probably know who sent the flowers. 'Small town' and 'privacy' are almost mutually exclusive terms. :rolleyes:
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You've got that right. I survived a small town... what they didn't know they made up. ;) I loved it, but I learned that even there I would make sure I had names and addresses for all senders.

V
 
Similar Situation

Well, I had a similar incident, I had a order online from North Carolina to a girl at the Funeral home I work with closely. I delivered, that afternoon she calls and asks who are they from, I dont know, I told her where they came from, she is upset because they are not from the husband. The husband calls later, he turns out to be a police officer, and he wanted to question me, in a very nice way, it turns out the flowers were from a older man that wanted to show thanks for help with a funeral. Although your situation sounds very fishy, I would call the police, give them the low down, and if the man shows up, which I doubt, (sounds like he is trying to scare the wife into confession) I would have him removed. Let's say you Identify the buyer, then you have another nut in your store giving you problems. I don't understand why your employee gave out the home number, talk about scaring someone at home! Good Luck and keep us posted.
 
Standing order here is...

We collect the data, and if requested will only divuldge to the Police if necessary, and we tell the sender this upfront.
 
Goodness what a loon! Did her husband not notice when she came home from work wearing a shiny new pair of earrings and a necklace?!

We too have a strict policy that all cards that we deliver must be signed with a name. Because of a recent incident we now take names and phone numbers on every sale, even cash and carry. We fill out an order form for every single customer even if it is only for a single rose. I have learned to CYOA...and have a lot less problems because of it. When we get lip we just explain and if they don't like it they can moooove on ;)

Best wishes Joanne...Also, echoing everyone else, home phone numbers are STRICTLY confidential, period.
 
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