Bad News I am afraid.

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RWK

RWK

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Jun 3, 2007
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I am afraid I am going to have to quit my new job at Carolina Pottery. The situation with my Mom has taken a turn for the worse. I had to be out of town this weekend and we had a family friend staying with Mom.

I came in today and found out that they had taken a short drive to the store and Mom swerved off the road twice. So, She has taken herself off driving.

Add to that a slight fall.....and it becomes apparent that I have to stay at home and be her caregiver.

This breaks my heart as I really love the job, I love the people, and I love what I do.

I need your thoughts, your prayers, and your well wishes that I hope I am making the right decision. Between a wonderful job and your Mom ..... Who would win?

For me......It would have to my Mom who wins out.
 
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Mom is the right choice for sure! Life is too short , enjoy your time with your mother and I am sure that another great job will come your way. Keeping you in my prayers.
 
No doubt...your Mom. You only have one Mom...there'll be other jobs.
Your mom is very lucky to have a son like you.....
 
Ricky,
You can do both.

My Grandma and Grandpa are in there late 80's and 90's. My sister has moved in with them to help take care of them and she also goes to school full time.

I say keep your job, maybe go part time, if that is an option.

Hire someone to come and help out during the day while you are at work.

Work will become an escape for you, not that your mother is a burden, but you will need a break.

Hope you can figure it all out. good luck.
 
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Well, the reason I was out of town was a florist convention. Lo and behold......I ate a late lunch Saturday ( was at the hotel restaurant and I had what they call an Italian Mac and Cheese. It was elbow macaroni with mozzerella, sausage, and marinara sauce. Well, not 2 hours later, I was ensconced on the toilet in my hotel room......and crap was literally coming out both ends........I ended up spending half the convention time holed up in my room.....either on the toilet or in the bed running a fever. So from 3 pm on till I got hometoday at 1 pm.....I had eaten nothing......and just drank 2 powerades to help not get dehydrated from diarrhea and 2 cans of sprite soda.............and I am still not 100 percent over it.
 
Caregiving has got to be the hardest job anyone can have. I understand your concern, but I agree with Shannon. You should look into some day time caregiving from an outside source. I believe it's will be good for Mom to have someone other interaction too.

Think about this Ricky, it may be best for both of you to have some outside help.
 
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Ricky, I ditto Shannon's remarks. There are some wonderful caregiving opportunities out there, either in your home and some are like "day care". It may be that your Mom would prefer to get out of the home at times and it can be arranged for her, as well as not having her feel dependant solely on you. Maybe work can accept a reduction in hours.
 
In my prayers tonight God bless
 
Sorry to hear this, I hope things can be worked out for you Rick, maybe part time or something?

Trish
 
Oh Rick how awful.

I think that only you knows your situation well enough to know what is best. I would consider the part time route if possible, as others have said this will give respite. I have never been a care giver but I have seen others and it is the hardest job in the world, physically and mentally.

Flowers really could be your time if you have any family members who could help out.

Thinking of you from over here Ricky.
 
Ricky, your mum has to come first. My mum would be my priority. If you have the energy and time I would do aa part time job to keep you more focused. I have had to give alot of help to my mum on a couple of occassions over the years and it's hard but your love for your mum will get you through it.
Just don't forget to look after yourself too. And as for help if you need it.
Best wishes to you all.
Jo
 
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Ricky, Here in Canada we have organizations that would go into your mom home and take care of her when you are away at work.

They would make sure she is bathed, and fed.

You may want to check an agency like that, paid by the goverment.

Even if it is every second day. It is better than nothing.

Luc
 
Ricky, I'm so sorry about your Mom. I would urge you to weigh all your options - as others have suggested and choose what's best for both of you. Take care of Mom and take care of yourself. I'll kep you both in my prayers.
 
God bless you, Rick. You are such a caring person and always want to do what is right for "the other person." This is your mom that we're talking about now, and I also know of your love for and devotion to her. You will take excellent care of her.

My concern is that Rick will not take care of Rick. I do hope that you can manage to keep your job, at least on a part time basis, because you are likely going to need some sanity breaks. I know how much caregiving, unrelented, can pull one down. Can your sister help at least a little?

You know that you can call me, or take a quick drive up here and just cry on my shoulder if you like. We'll cry together.

It does help me to take my mom on drives into the mountains and around neighborhoods locally to look at the beautiful yards. It helps her and me both. (I'm just thinking out loud)
 
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It's easy for someone else to say, keep that new job that you love, knowing you can't be two places at the same time. Check out the local senior centers, some of them are caregivers (at a reasonable $ rate) or they are there just to help with meals, and keep your mom company. My aunt did this for years and my aunt was in her 60's and loved the job.
 
Rick,

You and your mom will be in our prayers.

I want to echo the others who have suggested looking for professional assistance. Caregiving is a very draining task, and I know you don't want to end up harbouring bitterness toward your mom for occupying time and pulling you away from work you love (I know it may not seem like that now, but in the times you're tired and emotionally worn out that's where a person's mind can go).

If you can get a caregiver to watch mom during the day you'll be able to care for her the rest of the time - that's still 14-16 hours per day! Plus, a professional caregiver will have insights that can help you care for your mom - very valuable.

Ryan
 
Having been in the "caregiver" role, I agree with the others. You will need an outlet and part time work helps ALOT!! Get a schedule as best you can set up and ask for help. Don't try to do it all yourself,because it won't work. It's a must to remember to take care of you.Don't feel gulity about taking time for yourself.
 
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