whenever you get "it", take a shot of tequila--really! learned this when I was 18 & had a houseful of peeps who all went to dinner together; can only tell you how much fun THAT was! Anywho, the tequila has been the antidote ever since!(I know it sounds crazy...)
Bad News I am afraid.
- Thread starter RWK
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Rick, do both!!! It will need all your power, but if you give up what you love, it will kill your soul!!!!It`s gonna be the hardest job of your life, but that`s the real life. Hope there are many real friends! you can ask for help. You don`t have to decide now in this minute what to do. Take a little break, deep breath ...you`re not alone!!!!!!!
We are all here!!!!!!!!!!!!mhhhh okay I`m thousands of miles away from you, but my thoughts are with you and your Mom!!!!!!
~ Silvie ~
We are all here!!!!!!!!!!!!mhhhh okay I`m thousands of miles away from you, but my thoughts are with you and your Mom!!!!!!
~ Silvie ~
Ricky,
It's a very hard position to be in. Just because you aren't the 100% caregiver, it doesn't mean you don't love her 100%. does that make any sense? I agree with what others have said....take care of Ricky 1st, and you'll be better equipted to take care of Mom. Just like they say on the airplane: "put your own air mask on first before you assist others"
hugs to you....you know you can call. I have been there too.
It's a very hard position to be in. Just because you aren't the 100% caregiver, it doesn't mean you don't love her 100%. does that make any sense? I agree with what others have said....take care of Ricky 1st, and you'll be better equipted to take care of Mom. Just like they say on the airplane: "put your own air mask on first before you assist others"
hugs to you....you know you can call. I have been there too.
OB1
Joanne Plummer AIFD,CAFA
For what it's worth...
When Gary joined us 2 years ago, I was quite desperate, and I thought he was going to be the perfect full time answer to my prayers. Gary had been living and working in Atlanta for the past 20 years or so, and had a great life (and a great resume).
As it turned out, he came to Ottawa to care for his elderly mom who is ailing fast.
He gave up everything to come home to Canada to take care of his Mom, but, as time went on, he knew he had to let go of some of the pressure.
I love Gary and will do anything I can to make his life easier...his load at home is very heavy. So he works when he can, sometimes 40 hours, sometimes 20 hours.
He is totally worth it to me, and I will do whatever I can for him, so he can still take care of his mom, and be part of my life as well.
There are many agencies that can help you, and you should use all of them. Call a senior service citizen centre area in your city and see what they offer, then try to keep something, just for you. And find an employer that understands your situation. If they don't get it, they don't deserve you.
From what Gary tells me, it is his work that keeps him sane, and strong enough to take care of his mom the other 16 hours a day.
We all know that you have a terrific gift, Rickie, and to let that go is to hide God's gift under a bushel. And we all know how that song goes.
Think about it, and see if there may be another solution.
I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the right decision for you at this time.
You, and your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Best of luck to you you both,
Joanne
When Gary joined us 2 years ago, I was quite desperate, and I thought he was going to be the perfect full time answer to my prayers. Gary had been living and working in Atlanta for the past 20 years or so, and had a great life (and a great resume).
As it turned out, he came to Ottawa to care for his elderly mom who is ailing fast.
He gave up everything to come home to Canada to take care of his Mom, but, as time went on, he knew he had to let go of some of the pressure.
I love Gary and will do anything I can to make his life easier...his load at home is very heavy. So he works when he can, sometimes 40 hours, sometimes 20 hours.
He is totally worth it to me, and I will do whatever I can for him, so he can still take care of his mom, and be part of my life as well.
There are many agencies that can help you, and you should use all of them. Call a senior service citizen centre area in your city and see what they offer, then try to keep something, just for you. And find an employer that understands your situation. If they don't get it, they don't deserve you.
From what Gary tells me, it is his work that keeps him sane, and strong enough to take care of his mom the other 16 hours a day.
We all know that you have a terrific gift, Rickie, and to let that go is to hide God's gift under a bushel. And we all know how that song goes.
Think about it, and see if there may be another solution.
I'm sure that whatever you decide will be the right decision for you at this time.
You, and your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Best of luck to you you both,
Joanne
An update -
As it turns out, what we thought was a deteriorating condition was in fact just an unusual case of a bronchial infection ( bronchitis ). What made this unusual is that this infection came on her slowly........not like it has before.....and the symptoms that usually accompany the illness were not exhibited....no hacky cough, no fever, nothing more than a occasional clearing of the throat. Bronchitis was robbing her lungs of oxygen......so that explains why she would wake up in the morning practically normal.....and by nightime, just run ragged to the point of almost signs of dementia. She is on oxygen at night while she sleeps.......so her body was in essence getting charged at night and losing power during the day.
We found this out while researching care options........I was at work and my wonderful neice was spending the day with Mom. She used to work for a seniors center and had access to all kinds of info. In the course of talking with Mom's doctor, the nurse had to get permission from Mom to discuss with my neice. After talking with Mom, the doctor's nurse told Stacey ( my neice ) to get her up to the local clinic, she did not like the sound of her breathing.
( Here's the catch-22......Do you go to the doctor if you don't show signs of being sick ? )
In the meantime........We have it set at least temporarily until we see her regular doctor and get his official input......where for the most part, Mom is not by herself during the majority of the day. At night......I am a light sleeper....A mouse scurrying across the floor can wake me up. So, We are going to get a baby monitor system......so I can hear her at night.....I sleep at one end and she at the other. Also, I am getting her set up with the LifeAlert system.
So, perhaps I don't have to quit after all.....I mean.....now that I am doing this type of floral........I am reasonably sure that after Christmas......we'll see hours cut as things will slow down.
As it turns out, what we thought was a deteriorating condition was in fact just an unusual case of a bronchial infection ( bronchitis ). What made this unusual is that this infection came on her slowly........not like it has before.....and the symptoms that usually accompany the illness were not exhibited....no hacky cough, no fever, nothing more than a occasional clearing of the throat. Bronchitis was robbing her lungs of oxygen......so that explains why she would wake up in the morning practically normal.....and by nightime, just run ragged to the point of almost signs of dementia. She is on oxygen at night while she sleeps.......so her body was in essence getting charged at night and losing power during the day.
We found this out while researching care options........I was at work and my wonderful neice was spending the day with Mom. She used to work for a seniors center and had access to all kinds of info. In the course of talking with Mom's doctor, the nurse had to get permission from Mom to discuss with my neice. After talking with Mom, the doctor's nurse told Stacey ( my neice ) to get her up to the local clinic, she did not like the sound of her breathing.
( Here's the catch-22......Do you go to the doctor if you don't show signs of being sick ? )
In the meantime........We have it set at least temporarily until we see her regular doctor and get his official input......where for the most part, Mom is not by herself during the majority of the day. At night......I am a light sleeper....A mouse scurrying across the floor can wake me up. So, We are going to get a baby monitor system......so I can hear her at night.....I sleep at one end and she at the other. Also, I am getting her set up with the LifeAlert system.
So, perhaps I don't have to quit after all.....I mean.....now that I am doing this type of floral........I am reasonably sure that after Christmas......we'll see hours cut as things will slow down.
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