Feeling Sad !

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goodie

goodie

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Apr 29, 2007
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My good friend, has Terminal Cancer, and has been battling for 2 years now. On Friday it was her daughters wedding, brought forward, because she is so ill now! Shes in hospital and on the morning of the wedding she had a bad turn and staff ' revived her' !! Worried about time away from the hospital, her family were told that she needs to get back to Hospital after the ceremony as soon as poss.
She was brought into the wedding on a stretcher, with tubes everywhere. with 2 paramedics and a nurse.She stayed 4 hours, which was fantastic and longer than we could have hoped for!
Such an emotional day !!!

Anyway last nite she was told that there is no more they can do, and she has decided to come home to die! Ive been soo upset, she also lives next door to me and we have grown close over the four years we've been friends! Life is so unfair, i feel soo sad today ! trying to find comfort in the fact that did see her daughter marry, but am struggling with it all?
 
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Tracy what can i say, I am thinking of you and your friends family. How sad and so unfair. xx
 
I am so sorry to hear of your sadness...Life is sometimes very unfair...I know that well...I have no words to make you feel better, but just know that I am with you and feel for you and your hurt..
 
Goodie, how incredibly sad! It appears that your friend is a woman of good courage, and is, therefore, leaving a wonderful legacy for her family. My prayers are with you all.
 
What a wonderful legacy of love, strength and courage your friend has built in her life. It will live on.

She will enjoy the gift of company and friends as she finds her way.

You are a lovely caring and feeling person...

V
 
Hi Goodie -

Help her (and her family) through these last days - laundry, or cooking or just rubbing her back. Make her laugh, sit quietly while she rests, or hug her when she's scared...

This last part of her journey is a special time....hold her hand and help her through it. Time for sadness later.

Valerie
 
I am so sorry to hear that...my daughter in laws mom was diagnosed with lung cancer about 6 months before their wedding...they did not move their date up because it seemed that she was doing fairly well...however she took a turn for the worse and died on my birthday...a couple months pre the wedding. I cried and cried with her and told her that her mom had given me the best gift....I took it as a sign that she was telling me to love that gift like no other....a daughter in love.....not daughter in law....and I did everything a mom could do to make that wedding fantabulous for her....It was a very difficult time as you will face too but let her give you parting gifts..she will you know?? Huggg
 
Goodie - sending positive thoughts for comfort and most of all strength, to be there for the family during their most difficult task. What a blessing you are to them!
 
I look at this way, She did something that a lot of people could not have done if they died unexpected. It is not encouragement i am given, it is a blessing for everyone that she was there.

Luc
Another reason why we have to treasure what we have today!
 
Thankyou all for your kind words ! im not a religious person, and i hope i dont offend anyone, but i am struggling to believe there is God, When he appears to take the good ones first ?? There are plenty of Low life out there that deserve some of what shes going through!!!
 
Goodie,

I understand how you're feeling. My little brother was taken at age 15, autopsy "undetermined", so we don't even know why. He just up and died at the city pool, having fun with his friends.

And my mother was too sick with cancer (and delirious) to even help me plan my wedding, let alone attend.

Your friend will feel like a kite that was let go of, flying loose above the earth, ungrounded... at least I did. It is scary to lose your parents, even if you don't see eye to eye with them... they ground you to the earth.

All you can do is be there for her. I like the suggestions of making dinners for her. Just take care of her. I know you will.

Hugs,
 
Aw, you're a good friend and she's lucky to have you. I am sorry she's going thru this and you too. (((((hugs)))))
 
Godie:
Having recently experienced two tragic deaths.....1 sudden & unexpected and 1 not so sudden, I share your pain today, and that of your friend.

We ask why....but there is not good answer.

The best answer given to me was that God needed their talents somewhere else urgently. I find a little peace with that.

Help the family & your friend in any way you can. The requests may be small or large. My cousin just needed someone to sit with her Mom so she could run out and get a dark dress for her husband's funeral....I did that. she needed someone to take her Mom back home from the FH early one night....we did that. I went shopping, stocked the refrig, vacuumed, made the bed, relieved her so she could sleep for a few hours, picked up the grandkids and got her RX refilled. I helped with the many, many things of daily living that her mind could not cope with.

Be there for your friend and her family. They will need all the help they can get.

Regards,
Cheryl
 
Wow Cheryl, what a good friend you are!
 
Beth:
She is my cousin and my best friend.

On August 11, Martha lost Vic...her husband of 38 years and her childhood sweetheart. We buried Vic on August 14th.

My Aunt, her Mom, has been sick for several years (strokes) and was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Her death has been coming since early July.

Aunt Lydia died on Sept 14........She believed in honoring the dead for 30 days, as was done in her culture (she was an immigrant war bride who came to America at age 16 from Manchuria (also known as White Russia).

The loss of these two wonderful people makes my heart very heavy and sad. I ask why a lot, but there are no answers......only more questions.

The things that I have learned in the last 30 days about death and dying are just amazing. The kindness of people, including some complete strangers, is also amazing and makes me firmly believe in our human race.


God truly does not give you more than you can handle.

There is a reason and a purpose for everything. We just sometimes do not have the knowledge to understand.

From these three great people I am learning to live each day , one day at a time, to the fullest. You never know when it may be your last.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...the Courage to change the things I can change...and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Kind regards,

Cheryl
 
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My Dear Friend in Flowers, We all have our time here-and then we move on.Your friend's strength is a lesson and a blessing to us all. My heart truely hurts for you both.I attended my own daughter's wedding less than a month ago.I sit here dripping tears into my laptop as I try to share these feelings with you. I cant imagine your friend's fear of missing that time with her daughter. Her daughter will always have her mother's strength when she needs it,as will you,to continue to be a friend and be there for her daughter when your friend cant.Good people are taken,but always replaced with more good people...from your hurt came good thoughts..and you will do good things ...and your friend will know...
 
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Tracy,

I have been thinking about you, knowing that you had this special Wedding Day and wondering how everything went. I know how dear this friend and family are to you. What a special blessing friends are-you never know why people are placed in our lives and hearts.

They become so wonderful and yet at times, the relationship can become so painful-as you are now feeling. And yet because of the closeness you have to this wonderful lady, you can be there for her daughter in years to come. You will be there with each step of this new family's life. Perhaps you can help this new bride miss her mom a little less, just by having you close.

As far a questioning God's motives or his reality, that is something you will have to work out for yourself. But for my own beliefs, I truly believe that when we lose someone, especially someone that was particularly wonderful...they have fulfilled their responsibilities here on earth (so to speak) and are needed somewhere else. So God has taken them Home. It's always harder for the ones that are left behind, but not for the one that have gone on. So I always try to think of them instead of focussing on my own feelings.

I don't know if my words help, but they have been on my mind and I wanted to share them with you. I'm sure things will get a bit harder for you before they get better. Just know that you have many, many friends here that care for you and have been in your shoes.

Sending hugs across the water....Twila
 
Goodie thinking of you and yor dear friend can only reiterate what others have said and hope that however much we want to hold on to our loved ones Gpd will be good and take her sooner rather than later it is very hard to lose someone close but it is harder to watch them suffer. xxx
 
Sending hugs your way. Help the family all that you can it will get you outside of yourself and can help with grief all the way around. Death for the one who is gone is easy, for those who are still living death can be so very hard.
I am sure everyone here is beind you.
 
What can i say ? Your words are all comforting, thankyou so much ! Today the doctors have told her 2 weeks at the most ! and we are expecting her home from hospital Thursday. I am hoping to help with the 24 hour care she will need ? she will have nurses during the day ! I feel better today, but feel nervous of the next 2 weeks ?

Thankyou all !!xxx
 
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