I need some help - Handling difficult customers - INTERNALLY

[lil_goldie]

I'm guessing because your dad has been in business so long that he has earned his tough skin over the years.
I'm sure the first few times he was raked across the coals it was very disheartening for him too.
Keep in mind I'm in the same sort of position as you: Daughter of the owner, with ever-growing responsibilities and a tough as nails parent (my mum)

Here's a short story about how my mum got HER tough skin:
My mum moved up the ladder quickly as a nurse. She became head nurse, department head, then staff manager all before she was 35 while taking her masters degree in health management and raising me and my brother (with my dad's help of course, but still....tough job!)
Once she got her masters degree, she was offered the position of Vice President of Programs and Clinical services with a salary over $100 000 a year.

In Ontario, when you make over $100k a year as a public servant, they put your name and salary in the paper. It's called "the sunshine club."
Well, the hospital wasn't doing well and they gave my mum an extra duty: to select and personally lay off 150 people.

People called her horrible things, wrote to the paper how they should cut her salary in half and keep extra people, said she had a heart of stone, etc, etc.
Now when I get upset about dealing with a customer whose transaction didn't go well, she just says "Oh well, we did our best" and goes on with her day.
I lose sleep and get a little crazy over it.
She's fine, but I remind myself that it took YEARS of crap for her to get to this point.

I'm sure your skin and my skin will toughen up over time.
It's trite to say "don't let it bother you" because when you care as much about customer service as we do it DOES bother you.
Hopefully this is a once in a blue moon situation!

I find talking about it helps me out. I've heard that talking to someone else about something cuts the problem in half because it unloads half on them.

 

[sandytf]

I agree with everything everyone has said....I think we are all very sympathetic because we have all been there. I remember my first Mother's Day as a dept. manager with a completely inexperienced crew....my stress level was high and I ended up crying my eyes out when an unhappy person b****** me out because she didn't like the bow on her plant.

It still bothers me when someone is not happy. Especially when we are at fault and made the mistake. However, when someone really goes off-it's much more about THEM than about YOU or anything you have done. That's the biggest lesson I have learned. Many years ago I had a period of time when my employer seemed unhappy with anything I did. I kept wondering what I had done wrong and why she was so upset with me. It had to be me, right? WRONG! I found out later she had gone through a personal tragedy during that time period and it probably had very little to do with me or my performance. I believe this is often the case with the customers who blow up over something (I hate to use the word trivial) that appears way out of proportion to their reaction. I often tell myself that they may have just found out they have cancer, or may have lost a loved one, or are maybe just possibly the most unhappy person on earth! In any case, they have my pity. I have a whole circle of family and friends (and awesome co-workers too) who I can turn to after such an incident..so I count my blessings that I have such a wonderful life!

The best advice is to keep caring about your customers...because you wouldn't be very good if you didn't. Hopefully over time you will be able to cope with the unhappy ones and put it in perspective with everything else in your life.

Sandy

P.S. Sometimes a customer needs to be fired if they are abusive on a regular basis. The customer isn't ALWAYS right!