Twila, my heart goes out to you and your family. Tears are streaming down my face as I try to type.
Butch, my black lab, golden retriever, springer mix is 15 years old. Lately he has developed a cough, which worries me, but he's still himself, despite losing some weight. He still gets excited to go to the shop every day.
I dread taking him to the vet, fearing the diagnosis, but am anxious about the cough...wondering how much it bothers him. He never cries out, even when I help him into the van each day.
I've already decided that if the time comes, I'll have someone come to our home. (I pray that he'll pass on in his sleep next to my bed and spare me that awful decision). I've already decided to have him cremated and made arrangements with our funeral director that when I die, he will be with me in my casket. I've ordered a shipment of pet cremation urns, and will pick the nicest for him, of course.
It breaks my heart to know it's coming, but he's been blessed with a long life for a large dog. I know it's because he looks forward to going to work each day!
Enough tears....here's a funny story: I have a macho husband and 3 sons, who have grown up with Butch (the boys are 26, 27 and 28 now). They tease me all the time about taking Butch to the flower shop. He was supposed to be a great hunting dog (actually was, but that was years ago). Anyway, one day after work, Butch jumped out of the van, walked over to a flower growing in my yard, sniffed it, then trotted to the front door! My husband and boys saw it and cracked up! Hope it brings a smile to you too, Twila.
Love this quote from above: "I only hope I can become the person he thinks I am."
Butch and I send you and Remington love, hugs and kisses.
Know that I feel your pain.