One person shop time management advice

Status
Not open for further replies.
lori042499

lori042499

Well-Known Member
May 3, 2006
6,457
4,226
113
53
Melrose, Massachusetts, United States
www.affairstorememberflorist.com
State / Prov
MA
I am having a very bad week.....

I feel like I am forever rushing from one responsibility to the next...

I am a one eprson shop with a very part time driver...

I have 5 different personal issues going on
1. dealing with Mom's finances and errands since Dad died in March
2. Dealing with PT appointments and Lawyer appointments since being hit by a car in February
3. Dr. appointments for my surgery happening on jun 30th
4. House renovations
5. Finding time for my own grief about my Dad's death

How do you guys that have a one person shop deal when the personal crap mounts up like this...I need a day off so bad, I feel like I cannot deal fully with anyone thing so I am feeling miserable about it all....I feel like everything is in a state of half assedness....

My house needs to be scrubbed something fierce, my paperwork needs to be organized and cleaned up, my mail is just in a pile, My husband is a great support but there are things that are just not in his realm of doing...He helps around the house by picking up and surface cleaning and we make plans to do a good cleaning together and I get a funeral or a party...

I am not sure if I am so off track because of my Dad's death and I am just not dealing with things I don't want to or if the extra responsibility is just taking up my extra time. I feel like I can't have company over because my house is a mess, but don't have the time to really go out and socialize...I just realized yesterday that I have not cried about my dad's death since the first day in the Hospital when I locked myself in the bathroom and let it out. I am a very private person about my crying and don't want to deal with the repercussions of how it make other people feel(uncomfortable, sand, angry) I would rather just be alone let it out and be done with it.

I know it needs to be done, but I feel that I just can't find the time to do this...If I don't do this for myself, I think I may just end up blowing my stack and having a meltdown....Thanks for listening and any suggestions of how to find the time to deal would be helpful....
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
I know what you are going through. My personal issues are different than yours but they hang over my head daily while I work non-stop wearing 10 different hats and dropping some of the balls I have in the air. I have some "on-call" people but hate to call them in to protect the bottom line. I mostly work by myself and scrounge from my "on-call" people to make deliveries after noon each day.

I am open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. so that I can run errands and pickup flowers , supplies, go to the bank, etc in the morning. I also run most of my deliveries during that morning time. I backed off the 8:30 open time to be able to do those things myself. I forward my shop phone to my cell phone during the morning before 10 a.m. and have been known to pull off the road anywhere to pen an order. The late open hours helped me a lot. I also take phone orders on Sundays and am open 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturdays.

For florists it seems to be feast or famine. Most of my month's sales come from maybe 10 or 12 days during the month when I have to work 16 hour days to get it all done. I have perfected the following comments:

1. "Been blessed enough to be crazy busy, I will get to your paperwork as soon as I am able."
2. "I will meet you there as long as there is no wedding or funeral that weekend."
3. "Honey, you are cutting in to my sleep time."
4. "Wash your own darn clothes!"
5. "The cat and dog look skinny, anyone fed them lately?"
6. "If it doesn't move, microwave it and be thankful you don't live an African village."
7. "That new smell? It's trash, take it out!"
8. "Was that due today? Can you take a credit card over the phone?"
9. "Oops."

The biggest thing is to throw guilt out the window. Forgive yourself for forgetting to feed the cat and not having time to clean the house. Have the nervous breakdown because you deserve it. Then accept all offers for help. And finally, lean on the ones here at FC who understand better than anyone.

Bless you!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
you are not alone

For years I was unmarried, lived alone and ran my business with the "help" of teenagers. The good news was, I was within walking distance of the shop. so I would forward my store phone to my cell phone, stop the WS machine, put a gone fishing sign on the door and take a day for myself. I did not plan what day to take off. Played it by emotion. Some days I would just spend the morning cleaning my house and answering the phone. After I got married, I had a 45 min commute and a husband. I closed one day a week but still call forwarded to my cell phone. You can put a sign up that says, "you've exhausted me, thank you. I needed a day off" I found that humor works best for store closing.
I am so sorry about your dad. Take time for your self.
 
wrdlady47 said:
For years I was unmarried, lived alone and ran my business with the "help" of teenagers. The good news was, I was within walking distance of the shop. so I would forward my store phone to my cell phone, stop the WS machine, put a gone fishing sign on the door and take a day for myself. I did not plan what day to take off. Played it by emotion. Some days I would just spend the morning cleaning my house and answering the phone. After I got married, I had a 45 min commute and a husband. I closed one day a week but still call forwarded to my cell phone. You can put a sign up that says, "you've exhausted me, thank you. I needed a day off" I found that humor works best for store closing.
I am so sorry about your dad. Take time for your self.
Click to expand...



Some days I do feel like doing that, however I am of the feeling that things like that destroy all the efforts I make to build business. I close early on Wed and Sat afternoons and hope that I don't get too many deliveries so I can have a couple of hours to myself...maybe I will have to get a driver these days just to insure that I get that time off. I do this to save money...I am closing for the week of july 4th, but i will be in the hospital for 4 of those days... I am sure I will relish the few adys after. I did think of getting someone in to help me the week after so I can just leave in the afternoon and go home...Maybe I will.
 
Lori,
With Father's Day this weekend, it's no wonder thoughts of your dad are in your head. I still find myself out of sorts on the anniversary of my dad's death-I usually don't realize why I'm a b--- until I look at the calender.

You have a lot on your plate right now and, if you need to take a day off to recharge and deal, then that's what you need to do. I'm not a fan of closing the shop, but I have when I just have to rest and rejuvinate.

I hope you feel better soon and know that your FC friends are here for you.

Mary
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
I think you should get out of there. Set some very short term goals, they will help a bit. One of them should be closing ALL day next Wednesday. Let you customers know in advance with sign on the door, and reschedule your wholesale deliveries. NO phone, NO interuptions. Take the day to do either all home work, or business. Dedicating the day to one or the other will allow you some down time, and the opportunity to accomplish one whole job. This alone will make you feel better, as you will have achieved a goal. At the end of the day make a short list of attainable goals for TH and FRI. Dedicate this Saturday and next Saturday morning at your shop to some basic minimal chores, shop housekeeping, a drawer that needs straightened, supply stocking. Mindless tasks can be soul soothing, and calming in their simplicity. It will give you time to collect your thoughts, and keep your body busy. It also will leave you more settled for going home to your weekends.

Not trying to be bossy, but I promise it will work, and you won't get much paperwork or big tasks done in this state of mind anyway. Cut yourself a break. Doing it this way allows you to look forward to the day off, knowing you will get the break you need. And if you don't get as straightened up as you would like, consider closing on Wednesdays for the month, or the summer. Call it your new summer hours.

No one likes to close. The truth is that business is slower now, and you can afford to miss a few days now, instead of the month that you'll need if you end up in the looney bin down the road. The reality is that you are only one person, and no one can do it all, all the time. I am convinced that multi-tasking will lead me to mental illness. Try not to join me. Take care, sister friend.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
ivygreen said:
I think you should get out of there. Set some very short term goals, they will help a bit. One of them should be closing ALL day next Wednesday. Let you customers know in advance with sign on the door, and reschedule your wholesale deliveries. NO phone, NO interuptions. Take the day to do either all home work, or business. Dedicating the day to one or the other will allow you some down time, and the opportunity to accomplish one whole job. This alone will make you feel better, as you will have achieved a goal. At the end of the day make a short list of attainable goals for TH and FRI. Dedicate this Saturday and next Saturday morning at your shop to some basic minimal chores, shop housekeeping, a drawer that needs straightened, supply stocking. Mindless tasks can be soul soothing, and calming in their simplicity. It will give you time to collect your thoughts, and keep your body busy. It also will leave you more settled for going home to your weekends.

Not trying to be bossy, but I promise it will work, and you won't get much paperwork or big tasks done in this state of mind anyway. Cut yourself a break. Doing it this way allows you to look forward to the day off, knowing you will get the break you need. And if you don't get as straightened up as you would like, consider closing on Wednesdays for the month, or the summer. Call it your new summer hours.

No one likes to close. The truth is that business is slower now, and you can afford to miss a few days now, instead of the month that you'll need if you end up in the looney bin down the road. The reality is that you are only one person, and no one can do it all, all the time. I am convinced that multi-tasking will lead me to mental illness. Try not to join me. Take care, sister friend.
Click to expand...



This is what I am afraid of, the nervous breakdown that I am sending myself to....I have already started making a list and started atleast clearing the trash out of my paperwork. I can just pack it up and deal with it later if I just get it cleaned out.. I will be taking saturdays off in 2 weeks for the summer that should help...I am going to rpint this out to remind me to prioritize...set a goal and complete.....
 
My heart goes out to you Lori. I lost my Dad almost 8 years ago and still miss him so much. He was my best friend. Just this week was feeling blue and wishing that I could talk to him. I can only imagine how fresh that hurt and longing is for you. Be sure to feel it and don't push it away. I believe that the Lord blessed us with emotions for a reason. He must have been a wonderful man...just look at the daughter that he raised. Take some time this Sunday to really think about your Dad and honor him and what he has meant to you and your life. Maybe you could go thru some old photo albums or just enjoy some nature and think. I would imagine there will be tears shed, but enjoy each and every tear. My guess is that you won't be alone...your Dad will be right there with you.:blowkiss:

When Jonathon and I opened our business 15 years ago this summer, we both worked 6 days a week for 3 years straight. We were closed on Sundays. At the end of the 3 years, we sat down and had a talk. We still weren't "raking in the dough", but were making a bit more than when we started. Did we want to each take a raise, or should we hire our first part-time employee? We hired an employee. From that day on, I have taken Thursdays off and Jonathon has Wednesdays off. We never looked back.

It's so refreshing to be able to get away once in a while. Do you love your business? Of course you do! We all do, but we need to get away and get a fresh perspective. You will be amazed at how much more you will actually accomplish when you return to the shop after having some time off. Even if it's only an afternoon.

Like others have said before me; you have your friends here at FC to share with so that you don't have to be isolated. Talking is very important. You are not alone. Hang in there...you have lots of buddies and friends. We love ya girlfriend!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
So sorry to hear your feeling so low. I think the advice the others have given is good and sound advice. I would definately shut the shop and have a bit of me time with, like someone said, a humourous sign on the front of the shop. Your health and well being is far more important than anything, life is too short. Look after yourself. Once you get the physical things sorted that are weighing you down you may feel more focused.

I am lucky enough to have both parents but the thought of losing them terrifies me, I hope you feel better as time goes by and my thoughts are with you at this heartbreaking time. x x
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
hugs to you girlfriend!!!

Take some time for YOU. Be closed for one of those days during the summer. Call forward your phones for emergencies.

Unless the critters are carrying off the furniture - don't worry about the house! Friends come to see you- not your furniture and if the dust is so heavy on the tables - use them for pictionary!!! :)

My thoughts are with you in the loss of your Dad. Remember the good times and take comfort in them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
Lori it sounds like you are at the tail end of your tail end! I believe in being proactive and attack these problems head on.

First of all, you need a large calendar to mark all of the appointments down. Then, those appointments that don't involve you directly (like your mother's) find someone that can help you get her to her appointments. I am sure you want to take care of everything but you cannot be all things to all people and cannot possibly be everywhere at the same time.

Second, realize that you are one person. As stated in another post, leave the guilt behind. It is very heavy load to carry.

Oops, I now have a flower emergency and need to go. More later.....

Hang in there. We all care about you!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
Flowerchatter03 said:
Lori it sounds like you are at the tail end of your tail end! I believe in being proactive and attack these problems head on.

First of all, you need a large calendar to mark all of the appointments down. Then, those appointments that don't involve you directly (like your mother's) find someone that can help you get her to her appointments. I am sure you want to take care of everything but you cannot be all things to all people and cannot possibly be everywhere at the same time.

Second, realize that you are one person. As stated in another post, leave the guilt behind. It is very heavy load to carry.

Oops, I now have a flower emergency and need to go. More later.....

Hang in there. We all care about you!!
Click to expand...


2 months ago I bought a daily planner..I started using it about 2 weeks later it does help....Now atleast I know when i have 6 days of work and 6 appointes before and after work....which is right now(probably why I am feeling this way) schedualed more than I can really handle...
 
Lori...find yourself a safe place, and have a good cry...you are MORE than woman enough to be a man.
In your message, you are sobbing uncontrollably inside...it is festering into loss of control of your "surface self".......
Somehow, that helps........
 
Take it easy sweetie! We've all been there & know what you are going through. First of all, you need to take care of yourself! You have surgery coming up which will be the beginning of a BRAND NEW YOU!

I myself am a part time single mom (hubby is out of town for work 4 days a week) so it's just me & the new baby, the dogs, cat, house, and yard. We just let go an employee whom I was more of an assistant to than she was to me or my mom (aka: boss lady). Next, my backyard is a war zone after we had a pool built (2 years ago). I fear the fire department will come by anyday know & give us a fine for have dry grass (aka: weeds) that my husband is not tending to. My house is a filthy mess... so I've committed to tackling one room at a time. I'm sooooooo behind at work, I barely have time to be at the design desk & feel I'm letting everybody down. I take as much home with me as I can but I still can't catch up. My car just had a radiator & intake manifold replaced for $700 (thank goodness for a family friend!), and I just came from the dentist & had a crown put on and need to schedule another appointment for another crown! (Cha-ching). I have a budget & agenda to plan for my upcoming year for SWAIFD in the next week. To top it all off, I'm on this crazy diet that makes me a bit cranky sometimes besides tired. And, I'm so tired that I can't sleep! And my back is killing me!

It's not as extreme as yours right now, but I hope this little peek into my life helps you feel not so alone.

Hang in there, there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel (no matter how dark & long that tunnel may seen to be!).
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
Thank you all for your words or wisdom and encouragement. I appreciate it. I did get all of my mail and paperwork for home and business sorted, organized and filed yesterday....Haven't done it since March...

Today I will get the paint cans and stuffies I bought from a shop that closed organized and maybe some cleaning done at the shop....

Hubby cleaned the house yesterday after work to cheer me up.

Today at least on the surfage is a better day...

I went to a Gastric bypass support group last night and got to talk about a few things i was nervous about for surgery....

Got home last night and have decks built in may yard, now just railings and we can put that all together and enjoy it.

Hubby plumbed pool so we can get that ball rolling...

Lots of things lifted from the slate..

Made plans for mom to come to the hospital when I have surgery for one full day and we will write out thank you cards from Dad's wake....
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
Lori...I do not know your situation well and I am only going on what I read on your thread....but are you able to get someone to come in and take over your shop for a month or more....can you afford them if you do?
When things like this pile up....they are important and you have to find out what is important NOW and important LATER!
To me the very first thing that is important for you to do is your grief....that is incrediably important because its all about letting go and your health...you can not hold it in...sooner or later it will affect every part of your body and your mind. Also your operation is important too...so I think you need some ' you ' time FOR SURE!
After that well thats all about business and yes its all heavy and hard but you need to be healthy to do that...and right now it sounds like your not ( not being hard...but mentally your going down )
FIND someone ( other than your husband ) who can help you with the shop...to give you that little time off....get back on track and healthy again with your mind and body.
Hope this helps!:)
 
Flame said:
Lori...I do not know your situation well and I am only going on what I read on your thread....but are you able to get someone to come in and take over your shop for a month or more....can you afford them if you do?
When things like this pile up....they are important and you have to find out what is important NOW and important LATER!
To me the very first thing that is important for you to do is your grief....that is incrediably important because its all about letting go and your health...you can not hold it in...sooner or later it will affect every part of your body and your mind. Also your operation is important too...so I think you need some ' you ' time FOR SURE!
After that well thats all about business and yes its all heavy and hard but you need to be healthy to do that...and right now it sounds like your not ( not being hard...but mentally your going down )
FIND someone ( other than your husband ) who can help you with the shop...to give you that little time off....get back on track and healthy again with your mind and body.
Hope this helps!:)
Click to expand...


Unfortunately I cannot get someone in here to take over for any length of time...I am going to close the week of surgery and have asked my cousin to come in the two weeks after to man the store so I can leave early...I need to make some time to be alone...I see I am going to need to schedual this into my life, thet is the only way I am going to be able to properly grieve, I cannot do it with people around, not for my Dad anyway...I was able to when I miscarried, not sure if it was because it was happening to both of us, or what or if this is just such stronger feelings, not really sure, but I do feel the need to be by myself to cry and let it out...
 
Lori if I can be of any help please let me know I usually take at least one day off during the week and would be willing to help you at no cost I am very trust worthy spent ten years at Winston Flowers in Boston and am now working at Chalifours as the design mgr. I lost my mom a few years back and had so many people support me including my wife I think I would have fallen apart without her and you do need time with family and friends so if I can help please just ask and I will try to accomodate all the days I can.I am so very sorry for your loss.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back