Sigh.. Might as well get this over with now

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joanne

joanne

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Oct 31, 2002
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dunnville ontario canada
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My Dear Fellow Members i am doing this while i can still talk about it , because when it happens i'm not sure of the shape i will be in . My mom has be diagnoised with terminal cancer , Chemo and Surgery are not options as to the stage of the disease. They have said they would do 1 round of radiation if the pain becomes un bearable. We where told this last Wed Mar 4 and i have been trying to come to terms with it in my own mind so i can finally talk about it. I go to see Mom everyday and i notice her going down hill steadily. so i think when Doc said 3 mths she was highballing it . I'm thinking maybe month max as to the way she is now.
I have started to write this letter to you many times but stopped as i wasn't ready to accept it. But its so quiet today i sent staff home early and thought this was as good as time as any .
All i ask is that it will be painless for her, and may god make her journey there to join my Dad, Brother and Neice a peacefull trip for her
This is hard tears are running now , dammit. but i had to let you all know so if i sound dingy just chalk it up to me haveing a really bad day
Thanks Friends and my Flower Chat Family
Joanne
 
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Oh Joanne, I am so sorry....I'm giving you hugs right now and I will pray. Pray for Him to give her a peaceful journey-no pain, no suffering. Know that I am crying for you and with you...
 
Joanne,

I really don't know you, but I feel for you and offer my sympathies. I watched one grandmother fight cancer for three years, and one fight cancer for three months. Trust me, the three months was better. It was harder on us to not have time to prepare ourselves, but less suffering for her.

Please know that we are thinking of you and your family during this horrendous time.
 
So sorry to hear of this sad news...know you are in my thoughts...spend as much quality time as you can now, it will help you after...
 
Joanne,
I'm feeling so much for you...your mom and family. I don't know of anything that can make this experience easier.... Hugs are good tho. So here's a BIG ONE for you.
Something I did for my parents (I was helpless to do anything else!) when they went through the final stages of their cancers and were in hospital/hospice is make a CD of all their favorite songs, back in the Napster days:
1. Teresa Brewer - Till I Waltz Again With You
2. Patti Page - Changing Partners
3. Patti Page - Allegheny Moon
4. The Chordettes - Mr. Sandman
5. Kay Starr - Till We Meet Again
6. Anne Murray - Can I Have This Dance
7. Nana Mouskouri - Danny Boy
8. Nana Mouskouri - Ave Maria
9. Nana Mouskouri - Amazing Grace
10. Charlotte Church - The Lord's Prayer
It was so important to mom to have one last dance with dad, even in his hospital room (they were "Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers" in their day). Then mom also passed away three weeks later. Everytime I hear or think about any of these songs, my eyes well up with tears, as happened when I read your post....my heart goes out to you....
 
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Jaonne, know that I am thinking of you, your mom and your family, and that you are all in my prayers.

Know that God is there, waiting, and that He will be there for your mom and you too. He will comfort you both, and while we can not understand the why, we can take comfort in the knowledge that He is a loving God, and a merciful one.

Lord, be gracious in your care of Joanne's mom, take her pain, lead the doctors with love and mercy, and help them to make the correct choices in the decisions they will all face when the times come. Give strength Lord, give wisdom and most of all let Your love flow upon all involved.
 
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Joanne words fail me, what an awful time for you. I dont know you well either but i feel so much for you. Prayers for strength and peace for you mum and all of you...
 
So sorry Joanne. What terrible news. Went through it with my mom four years ago. I'll skip all the sympathy crap and be blunt. It sucks. It really sucks more than anything I ever had to go through. Try to keep her spirits up and enjoy the time you have with her as long as she remains responsive. The hardest part for me was when it got to her brain and she got very mean at times, other times just said silly things. Actually the silly things were ok - made me laugh. The mean side was sooo unlike her it was devastating and heartbreaking. Make yourself be at her side even though you may want to run as far as one can.

Personally, if that ever happens to me... I'll be Thelma and Louise-ing it. I never want to put my family through that.

Just know that so many of us have been there and for your families sake, I really hope it happens far sooner than 3 months and painlessly.

Hugs~
Heather
 
Boss, what sweet words for this broken heart.
I'm sorry for the sadness I read in your post.
I can't find words or wisdom to pass on, Boss said it all for me.
 
My heart breaks for you, Joanne. Spend as much time with her as you can. My 84 year old mom had lung surgery 2 years ago and her life has been miserable ever since. The cancer is gone, no chemo or radiation, but the quality of life is so awful. She wish's she could die. Then I listen to you and wish she could see how very lucky she is to be alive, living in her own home etc. I will keep you and all you love in my prayers. God is good, sometimes hard to understand, but good, very good. Love, Karen
 
Joanne, if you need my ears, please call. I'll listen... for often that's what we need. 519-642-7627

I am so very sorry.

V
 
Joanne, I don't know you, but I am so very sorry for what you are going through. It's okay to cry.

Jennifer
 
Joanne, I am so very sorry to hear of your Mother's illness. I pray for her to have a short and painless journey to join your Dad.

Just one thought for you, to keep you strong is for you to spend all the Time you can with her. A good friend recently sent me this:

"Everyone has the same number of seconds, minutes and hours each day. There are no "time outs" in life. There are no "dress rehersals."
You can always make more money.......You can never make more time.

God speed, Joanne, We'll all be praying with you.

Kind regards,
Cheryl
 
I'm so sorry, Joanne. Six years ago on March 7th, my husband died of cancer ... which should make me some kind of expert on this, but I'm not. I wish so much that I, or someone, had the magic to take away all the pain, both physical & emotional.

I do know one thing -- this is the time to be completely selfish. Take care of yourself (rest, eat) so that you can be her rock. Run interference (with visitors, medical staff, etc.) so that she can have all the peace possible. Let her talk, if she feels up to it, about anything. Absorb everything she says. Sit quietly with her when she doesn't want to talk. Give love and accept love.

Wishing you strength and sending you (((hugs)))
 
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Prayers going up . . . now.

From Alabama. . . .

Went through it with my Mom. . . .

Let the tears flow. . . . Think of all the happy times.

God be with you and yours. . . .
 
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