Subforums of chatters

[Palms]

No i agree it doesn't V, but it does lessen the threat of gossip amongst my town if i have an issue i need to discuss. I like the pm system but i may want to get advice from a few and to pm would take forever.

Honestly, I would not want to hurt anyone for the world but this is only a social group. And its actually less exclusive than the retail florists for canada one, which i do not at all feel bothered about.

Like i said before it is more about regular posters here who i trust, not about b and m. For me anyway.

Anyway, i certainly do not want to fall out with anyone. I know there are a few who ignore everything i say anyway so this probably wont get read or acknowledged but hey I have come to have thicker skin than a rhino!!

 

[BOSS]

Let me see... a couple fishermen.... a tax collector......

 

[Flowerchatter03]

I seriously don't understand why everyone is so "offended". I could have just as easily PM'd Ryan and asked him how to do this. It could have been set up behind the scenes and no one would have been the wiser unless they looked. I asked on the PUBLIC forum and look what that got me and the others.

Private messaging would be really difficult if you wanted to talk to more than one person about a topic that doesn't pertain to everyone. Like Palms said (paraphrasing) we all do not wish to air our dirty laundry in public.

I only gave a suggestion of other groups that might wish to talk privately from time to time. I NEVER said to split everyone up in groups that would not socialize as a whole.

Let me give some examples of why someone might wish to talk to others in a more private setting.

1. There have been a whole influx of people who really are not in the business of selling retail flowers to the general public. NOT JUDGING here so don't hang me. Not just people who work from their home but also wholesalers and others. I love that we all have a large group setting, however, I might not want them to know what I pay for something or some other situation might arise.

2. I might need to talk about something that has to do with a wire service that I don't wish for Teleflora or FTD or 800flowers, etc to know about. Perhaps something that they could come back to me about. How do you propose I talk about this without them seeing?

3. I might need to talk about a particular holiday and I need feedback from other B&M about something specific. I remember a thread over Mothers Day that some were bashing others for turning down orders. They have no idea or understanding about working 12+ hours everyday to prepare for this holiday. Instead, the week of MD, they are out boating. How does one who is not in this situation understand or give real feedback than just their opinion when they have no experience in the situation?

4. It has been brought to my attention about some frequent posters are not who they say they are. This has made me a little leary about putting EVERYTHING on the public board.

These are just a few examples off the top of my head to give some generic reasons about why someone might need to talk in a more private setting.

By the way, the administrators have (or had) a private forum. Should I be offended that all of us were excluded? I don't think so because it doesn't pertain to me or anyone but those who are involved.

I apologize if anyone feels excluded or offended but I cannot control your feelings. Only you can. This is not about feelings, it's about business.

Peace out

 

[goldfish]

Social group or "sub-forum"?

Social group or "sub-forum"? Which one are we talking about?

Social group: a forum made of like-minded people whose membership is determined by either invitation or request.

Sub-forum: similar to Social group with one exception. Membership is automatically determined by what kind business you happen to be in (BM, Event, wholesale, WS, OG, etc).

I have no problem with Social Group. I have a problem with so-called "sub-forum" in which I will be assinged to a certain forum and automatically excluded by other forums.

Flowerchatter03, as far as I know, no one is opposed to you or anyone else setting up a Social Group only for B&M florists. It's just that very few will join it and, in that group, you will not hear from many people who are indeed B&M.

 

[roysecityfloristand gifts]

Goldie, it is a Social Group, that happens to have been started by B&M shops who feel they have unique interest and want a easily accessed forum (for lack of a better word) in which to chat. We can't all go to lunch!

Who are you to say that few will join? There were folks asking how do I join, while it was still being posted about. There will be more than you think join, and we will enjoy having our give and take conversations just like on the main forum.

What do you mean by "you won't hear from shops that are indeed B&M"?

Ryan has twice now explained that it is just a Social Group that is not in any way threatening the main Forum. Please people read it all and think before you type.

A B&M shop here, wishing everyone well!

 

[goldfish]

Who are you to say that few will join? There were folks asking how do I join, while it was still being posted about. There will be more than you think join, and we will enjoy having our give and take conversations just like on the main forum.

The reason that I think few will join is that forum consisting only of like-minded people is probably going to be boring. It's like going to a party with a whole bunch of polite like-minded people. Usually just one person keeps talking and all others keep nodding.

As a long-time forum poster, I know what makes a forum successful. A successful forum needs a core group of heavy posters, at least 10 people.

These core-posters are invariably opinionated and therefore attracted to controversies and hot debates. They will not like a forum where everyone agrees or keep patting each other's back.

But you can try. I have no problem with that. As I said, I am not opposed to you or anyone else setting up a B&M forum as a social group.

 

[BOSS]

These core-posters are invariably opinionated and therefore attracted to controversies and hot debates.

No.... really?????

:icon15

 

[goldfish]

These core-posters are invariably opinionated and therefore attracted to controversies and hot debates...

No.... really?????

:icon15

Really, yes. Heavy posters (including myself) strive on controversies and disagreement, all trying to prove that the other guy is a greater a*shole than we are.

Many audience, too, would occasionally enjoy reading controversial thread and pissing match, even though they pretend that they are above the fray.

Case in point: Wesley Berry and JB xoxo-ing each other in a private forum has a lesser entertainment value than CHR kicking his crotch with a pointed-toe high-heel in the public forum.

With that said, I completely understand that most people don't have as thick a scale as I do. They much prefer a private forum where they can say things without fearing that people like me would jump all over it.

 

[LJVF]

I agree with what goldie says.

But... a private invite only specific groups forum does have it's advantages. It gives the members a place where they can openly share trade secrets and opinions that they may not necessarily want everyone to view.

 

[roysecityfloristand gifts]

Goldie, isn't meaness what killed floristboard???

There is no patting of backs, and sorry guys no cat fights either.
At the moment there are members who are exchanging ideas, and making suggestions.
And more folks are joining everyday. Another just joined.

The Main Forum will continue to provide the opportunity for controversy, by definition a "Social Group" shouldn't have controvrsy, should it?

We are not thin skinned milk toast people, we just want to chat in private as a group sometimes. That doesn't mean we all won't still get into the "pissing matches" on the main forum. In fact I am certain there will be more of those involving myself and the originator of the idea flowerchatter03, what cha' bet?

We don't fear being jumped on at all. With that said the main forum has started to become a place of argument/controversy/pissin matches more than the genuine exchange of ideas and friendship. Oh it's clear who the people are who enjoy watching a fight, but would never post for fear of their lily white reps being sullied or as you said remain above the fray.

For the 15th time, it's just people getting together to share.

 

[goldfish]

roysecityfloristand gifts, as I said, I am NOT opposed to having a private forum where people exchange ideas and friendship. It's just not the kind of forum that I would personally like, that's all.

As to "meanness", there is no mean people here. I think "meanness" you are seeing is the result of the fact that we are communicating only through typed words.

Misunderstandings do happen.

LJVF, I know what you're saying. As far as I'm concerned, however, I can't think of any trade secrets that I would disclose only in a private forum, but not in public forum. Sales figures, for example, I won't disclose in either forum. Other "secrets", like what we will be doing this Christmas, I can disclose to anyone who listens.

I sometimes think that the idea of competitors stealing our "secrets" is over-blown. I know several florists, including home-based ones, in our area are members of this forum. You can say they are our competitors.

Are they reading every single one of my posts? Highly unlikely. Did I say something that helps them to screw up my business? Possible, but they don't seem to be succeeding.

 

[Sarah Botchick]

I am a member of some message boards in another industry. There are non stop cat fights, and people randomly slamming others in the industry - with the only reason being that they are scared of their competition, not that the competition is actually doing something wrong. It has lead to the downfall of of those boards, and the moderators scratching their heads trying to figure out why their boards are so quiet.

MHO is that controversy is a draw IF there is substance behind it. When it is just plain petty, it repels instead of draws.

 

[LJVF]

LJVF, I know what you're saying. As far as I'm concerned, however, I can't think of any trade secrets that I would disclose only in a private forum, but not in public forum. Sales figures, for example, I won't disclose in either forum. Other "secrets", like what we will be doing this Christmas, I can disclose to anyone who listens.

I sometimes think that the idea of competitors stealing our "secrets" is over-blown. I know several florists, including home-based ones, in our area are members of this forum. You can say they are our competitors.

Are they reading every single one of my posts? Highly unlikely. Did I say something that helps them to screw up my business? Possible, but they don't seem to be succeeding.

goldie, I really do agree with you on this issue, at least more than I disagree with you.

But here is a hypothetical example of what I mean by trading "secrets"

As most of us know, there are several FC members within a small radius in the Anaheim area. CHR, Bigted and Eric S. come to mind. Say Bigted wants to discuss V-Day strategies, such as pricing, inventory, special wholesale deals, etc... with some valued peers, but he doesn't want to show all his cards to his direct competitors. If Ted was in a private group of members he respected, he may feel more comfortable discussing strategies. (not sure if admins have access to the private groups).

I used the Anaheim gang as an example only for hypothetical reasoning, for all I know they carpool with each other everyday to their shops. :ghug:

Another reason is for good old fashioned gossiping. We'd be naive to think that members don't talk trash about each other behind the others back. Ex: OG bashing or vice versa. (well actually this goes on anyways, but you know what I mean)

Really when you think about it, FC in itself is a private forum. Would we want our customers reading all the things said in here?

goldie, did I tell you that I really do agree with you on this? Just playing a little bit of devils advocate.

 

[sloan]

ok eg to put things in a bit of perspective.

If my business started failing and i had to make some decisions, i may turn to you guys who are running similar business to me for some advice. I would not want to put that in an open thread because of all the readers and lurkers to read that my business is going down. And actually yes i would not want bb local to me to get that news to spread it locally that i was closing.

There is also another forum for the UK and their members read this forum on a regular basis, they then call it the "dark side" and repeat things on the Uk forum that have been said. There are people on that forum that are local to me and quite frankly any problem like the above i would not want to get into their hands.

I must say for me its not just about b and m, its more about regular posters who i have a certain degree of trust in.

I personally think that if you register and then dont contribute you should have limited access. This would eliminate the problem as if anyone did have something they wanted to discuss they could do this in the private section of the forum that only the regular posters could read. I think this would tighten things up but thats only mho...

Personally, I'm a quiet person who doesn't feel the need to always be heard. I'm learning a lot from many on this chatroom, and for this, I thank you. Since I've only owned my business for two years, I've had a lot to learn. Plus, the business I purchased two years ago, has been around for 50+ years; all the ladies that work there have been there nearly half of that time and are stuck somewhere in the past. I'm here to learn from you "masters", and have found so much helpful information, which will hopefully help me bring this little business "kicking and screaming" into the current decade as we move into a larger location. My point? I would hate to be left out of these discussions, simply because I don't "chime in".

 

[Palms]

I understand you Sloan but at the beginning you are asked about what you willcontributeto the board. If no one chimed in then we wouldnt have a board would we?

This is not meant personal btw, just a response.

 

[CHR]

These core-posters are invariably opinionated and therefore attracted to controversies and hot debates. They will not like a forum where everyone agrees or keep patting each other's back.

As a matter of fact, this board has been chided elsewhere for being 'too nice'.

Case in point: Wesley Berry and JB xoxo-ing each other in a private forum has a lesser entertainment value than CHR kicking his crotch with a pointed-toe high-heel in the public forum.

Would 'his' be Wesley or JB? :> (Ya' know I'd never kick JB.... )

As most of us know, there are several FC members within a small radius in the Anaheim area. CHR, Bigted and Eric S. come to mind. Say Bigted wants to discuss V-Day strategies, such as pricing, inventory, special wholesale deals, etc... with some valued peers, but he doesn't want to show all his cards to his direct competitors. If Ted was in a private group of members he respected, he may feel more comfortable discussing strategies. (not sure if admins have access to the private groups).

Can't speak for everyone, but this Admin does not have access to private groups AFAIK (unless I am a member of them).

But the B&M sub-group would still allow for Eric, me and the OC lurkers (and you know who you are. )

The only way that scenario would work here would be to form exclusive sub-groups, otherwise me and Eric would just have to be banned or asked to leave.

I used the Anaheim gang as an example only for hypothetical reasoning, for all I know they carpool with each other everyday to their shops. :ghug:

Well..... not exactly, but I have referred consumers to them when they had immediate need for something we didn't have (especially balloons! (ugh) and plant rentals.)

 

[goldfish]

As most of us know, there are several FC members within a small radius in the Anaheim area. CHR, Bigted and Eric S. come to mind. Say Bigted wants to discuss V-Day strategies, such as pricing, inventory, special wholesale deals, etc... with some valued peers, but he doesn't want to show all his cards to his direct competitors. If Ted was in a private group of members he respected, he may feel more comfortable discussing strategies. (not sure if admins have access to the private groups).

If I was BigTed, I would presume that Cathy's spies and Eric's stooge will be lurking in that secret forum, so I won't say anything too sensitive.

My point being that there probably is not much difference between so-called "private" forum and public forum in terms of their ability to keep secrets. If I had to discuss my top secrets, such as what underwear I should wear for our wedding anniversary, I would use private messages.

Another reason is for good old fashioned gossiping. We'd be naive to think that members don't talk trash about each other behind the others back. Ex: OG bashing or vice versa. (well actually this goes on anyways, but you know what I mean)

If a man says something in the woods, and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong? My answer would be, yes (sort of), but as long as she doesn't know about it, no real harm is done.

So if you trash talk about me in my back, please do not let me know.

goldie, did I tell you that I really do agree with you on this? Just playing a little bit of devils advocate.

I know, some people seem to suspect you are my alter ego, a nicer version of myself, because we agree too often.

 

[goldfish]

I am a member of some message boards in another industry. There are non stop cat fights, and people randomly slamming others in the industry - with the only reason being that they are scared of their competition, not that the competition is actually doing something wrong. It has lead to the downfall of of those boards, and the moderators scratching their heads trying to figure out why their boards are so quiet.

MHO is that controversy is a draw IF there is substance behind it. When it is just plain petty, it repels instead of draws.

True. And as someone who knows what real flamewars look like, I can say that there hasn't been many flamewars, i.e., abusive personal attacks, in Flower Chat. Some, but not many.

It has a lot to do with FC being not anonymous, I think. Even though many of us use aliases, myself included, our identities are not hidden. This probably deters us from acting too abusive.

I've been a frequent poster since early 90's (discussion boards were called USENET back then).

Here's a couple of things that I learned over the years on how to protect myself from getting into petty flamewars.

Rule #1) Don't respond to any abusive posts. Resist any temptation that you've got to "fight back." Just ignore.

Rule #2) If a certain poster(s) consistently offends you, just put him/her quietly into your 'ignore' list.

Rule #3) Never post anything when you are angry.

 

[BOSS]

So much debate about so little...

For those that want to utilize the Social Group functions of the community feel free to do so.

For those that don't.... don't.

Seems simple to me....

But I'm with Daz...:newbie

 

[Tracy D'Amico]

If I had to discuss my top secrets, such as what underwear I should wear for our wedding anniversary, I would use private messages.

dude, if you're wearing panties on your annivesary, you're not celebrating it right