weight and personal relations

[lori042499]

I am trying desperately to figure this out...As most of you know, I had gastric bypass surgery last year...I have over the last 2 years shed 220lbs...I have owned my own shop for 3 1/2 years, been a manager at a shop for 8 years and worked in the industry for 25 years or so....

My question is this:

Why did my weight hinder people's ability to take me serious???

I ask this because now that I am smaller, I am noticing that brides and prom kids are more apt to trust my choices on color and style than before...I do not believe I have changed personally, the way I sell or the options I give them...My dressing has changed some, There are just more styles for me to choose from and naturally I look better on the outside...Does this alone give me more credability in the style and design department in people's mind?

Is my business doing better because I am better to look at?? Are people taking me more serious as a professional because of the way I look?

I really would like anyone's feeback on this...I am floored by the difference in peoples interactions with me and would like to know if these observations make sense or if it is just a big coincidence...

 

[RWK]

Although I can't put my finger on one, I have seen and read many marketing papers, statements, and the like over the years that do support that Lori.

In fact, I do recall reading a blurb in the FTD History book that mentions that one enterprising florist in the early twenties/thirties = He took and creatd something like a parade float and two lovely young ladies who were easy on the eyes rode the 'float' encouraging people at stoplights, walking along, and the like to order flowers.

 

[Dee Dee]

Lori,

In this line of work YUP it's the weight.

It is what it is, it's wrong, but it is what it is.

I would like to add that I would bet good money that you carry yourself with more pride and confidence because of all of your achievements.

Weight loss, becoming an owner, understanding that your years in the bus. count for something, etc.

Keep on keeping on and - The World Is Yours! !

 

[Dorothy]

Lori,
It's not quite the same, but I've felt similar that I'm not always taken seriously because I'M SHORT - always have been, always will be. People - employees, other business owners, co-workers, customers, family, friends - have all treated me at one time or another, well, like a 'little kid' due simply to my height. It's frustrating but to a certain extent I've learned to 'live with it'.

When I first bought my flower shop, I had an oldtimer come in, who was really well-known and respected in the business community, pull out a comb from his back pocket and proceed to comb my hair in the middle of the store! Not just a little bit either - he combed all the way round until he was done! My hair really wasn't messy, but I tend to attract this kind of mothering attention, only because of my height! I just stood there and tried to joke about it 'cause I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to be rude to the fellow. It was humiliating! (to me) but my staff/other customers just laughed. I still hear about that to this day....

I can imagine feeling your conflictions - I just wish I could grow about 3 inches!

 

[Carol Bice]

Lori, I am so proud of you for losing the weight. I know you must feel much better and are able to stut your stuff much more easily.

I really don't want to hurt any feelings, but, yes, it does make a difference how you look and carry yourself. It is just a fact of life.

One Valentine's Day, I got through designing early in the day. So, Buddy and I both went out front and stood at opposite ends of the room to deal with customers. There were at least 4 to 6 sales people in the middle between us and it was a more direct route to get to them than either of us.

Absolutely every single person that walked in that did not know who we were walked the longer distance to one of us instead of the obvious sales people at the computers.

The difference is we dressed professionally and our attitude looked like we meant business. The sales staff worked on looking casual. So, possibly you do look like you know more when you look the part.

Lori, good luck with maintaining and hope your business improves because of your hard work.

Carol Bice

 

[Queen of Weddings]

Well people are plain as @@@@ in my book, and very shallow mined that is it in a nut shell,

Now as to following your posts for some years now, It is you that has changed not the weight aspect of it, yes that is there, but you have grown in a professional, knowledge is golden, you are now considered a viaable business now,So of course people are going to come in, and see the knew place, cause you did do the new awings and such, of course that is going to help as well, and also don't put to much into it, it is not worth it at all, I know we all want people to accept us for who we are not what we aren't but it is not that way, and I think you are who you are, and it doesn't matter what you wiegh, It is the society that we live in, I don't care if you sell @@@@ on a shingle, as long as it looks good, it is still @@@@ on a shingle, and it is not what you do, it is not what you didn't do that makes people judge, Now you are the person that you were suppossed to be, and that deep inside feelings that you had were what was holding you back, I know that sometimes ego gets in the way, and It is what it is, and that holds us all back sometimes, But now don't you put in darn thought into this issue, and now get back to work, and enjoy the ride, cause it is good for you,,,Hugs to you..

 

[ivygreen]

Lori,

Is it your own personal confidence? or the way you carry yourself( meaning more assuredly)? And what about the bit of depression you have struggled with, perhaps as you have worked through that as well, you are sending out a more positive, confident vibe?

I like to believe in the better nature of people, so I'd to think it's a combination of all these things, and not just the weight. The of changes from within, plus every year spent honing your sales skills, and your hard work building a reputation seems like a winning combination to me.

"Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you." More of the best of your self is shining through, that's my vote.

 

[BOSS]

My question is this:

Why did my weight hinder people's ability to take me serious???

Because every one of us is a flawed human, harboring known (and unknown) prejudices. (hint, it goes back to Eve)

But...another reason might be... Sex(ey) Sells! face

 

[BOSS]

BOSS's Quote of the day!

"Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you." More of the best of your self is shining through, that's my vote.

There you have it folks...

 

[SpringCity]

I think Melissa makes some great points about confindence but I think people have biases, I'm sure I do even if I'm not completely aware.

Looks and people's reactions to them is a fascinating subject. A couple weird things on opposite spectrums I notice is that as I age I am gaining what I call my "middle aged lady invisibility cloak" esp. with younger men which is fine.

But also, I color my hair and oddly enough people in general are just nicer to me when I'm blonde, I don't know why.

I don't know about weight, have been this same weight (slightly chubs) for quite a few years. Would people change toward me if I lost or gained a lot? Probably.

 

[RWK]

I'll paraphrase a quote I read once - It was made a one of the first supermodels during an interview

She said " In this world, Life is easier if you are thin, rich, blonde, blue-eyed, and beautiful......the rest of us have to work our ass off. "

 

[Patty]

I think Ivy hit the nail on the head. When you feel good about yourself, you project a more confident image. Customers respond to that confidence.

You should certainly be proud of your accomplishment and confident in your ability to achieve a goal. That coupled with your added years of experience conveys a positive message.

I try to dress professionally, to the point that my staff teases me about dressing up to scrub buckets. The honest truth is that I do it more for my own self-image than I do to project anything to my customers. I know that when I look good, I feel good and that gives me more confidence. It's a circle.

How dilligent you've been to arrive at this point! Congrats.

Keep up the great work!

 

[shannonlovesflowers]

Well, I'm sure I'm the biggest fattest person on this board. However, with that said, I am rather cute! And pretty dang confident, as I'm sure you all can see! I had a friend that used to tell me that when I walk into a room I own it.

I'm positive that I've lost wedding jobs because people flat out didn't like me. Maybe they didn't like me cause I am fat, maybe they didn't like me because I'm honest and not a "yes" person, or maybe they just thought I sucked, who knows...
But I have a fan club as well. Lots of folks think everything I do is fantastic.

I totally agree that some people see a fat person and automaticly think "lazy" I am far from lazy.
But, whatever, I also agree with Carol when she says people are judged on how you carry yourself. There are some gross looking dumpy fat people who don't care how they look, as well as skinny people. I don't care to trust gross looking dumpy messy people either....And Lori I'm not saying that you were.
I know when I have on a pretty outfit or I'm having a good make up or hair day I feel pretty and happy I project pretty and happy. And vice versa.

As stated by someone else, it is what it is, and so be it.

 

[makescents]

I would have to say yes also... People may have been uncomfortable - like people are around someone who has a disablity - I have a cousin with cerable palsy (no idea how to spell) and people act all weird around him...

Most folks are just not comfortable with anyone who is different.

If you had hillbilly teeth - I bet sells would be down too! LOL

Proud of you for lossing all that weight! Way to Go!!! & happy for you that sells are up!

 

[makescents]

Well, I'm sure I'm the biggest fattest person on this board. However, with that said, I am rather cute! And pretty dang confident, as I'm sure you all can see! I had a friend that used to tell me that when I walk into a room I own it.

I'm positive that I've lost wedding jobs because people flat out didn't like me. Maybe they didn't like me cause I am fat, maybe they didn't like me because I'm honest and not a "yes" person, or maybe they just thought I sucked, who knows...
But I have a fan club as well. Lots of folks think everything I do is fantastic.

I totally agree that some people see a fat person and automaticly think "lazy" I am far from lazy.
But, whatever, I also agree with Carol when she says people are judged on how you carry yourself. There are some gross looking dumpy fat people who don't care how they look, as well as skinny people. I don't care to trust gross looking dumpy messy people either....And Lori I'm not saying that you were.
I know whan I have on a pretty outfit or I'm having a good make up or hair day I feel pretty and happy I project pretty and happy. And vice versa.

As stated by someone else, it is what it is, and so be it.

I also agree with you - I am not the skinnest thing around either!

But I dress cool and trendy - I have a cool do with pink and blonde streaks... I absolutly think that this makes all the difference in the world! Fat or skinny if you look nice, trendy and unique you'll get the biz!

 

[ourfathershou25]

We have an employee that had that type of surgery, her hold attitude changed and so did her customer serivce. She was more confident. Congratulations on your surgery and weight loss.

 

[Carol Bice]

We have an employee that had that type of surgery, her hold attitude changed and so did her customer serivce. She was more confident. Congratulations on your surgery and weight loss.

You make a great point. I have seen people gain confidence and attitude and do greater customer service when they have the surgery. Mark is right....it is a human flaw---but, it is also reality.

Carol Bice

 

[Sarah Botchick]

It is very common to get that kind of reaction. We live in a visual society. People are programmed to equate thin with qualified. Not right, but true.

I was never "over weight" - just had put on some pounds due to medications and poor food choices. A year and a half ago all I did was lose 20 pounds. I also invested in a Chi and started straightening my hair. I couldn't believe the difference in how people responded to me. It was like I got a whole new life.

Congratulations on getting your new life.

 

[Mikey the Flower Guy]

Lori,

Is it your own personal confidence? or the way you carry yourself( meaning more assuredly)? And what about the bit of depression you have struggled with, perhaps as you have worked through that as well, you are sending out a more positive, confident vibe?

I like to believe in the better nature of people, so I'd to think it's a combination of all these things, and not just the weight. The of changes from within, plus every year spent honing your sales skills, and your hard work building a reputation seems like a winning combination to me.

"Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you." More of the best of your self is shining through, that's my vote.

Melissa took the words right outta my big mouth!!

 

[Palms]

Melissa took the words right outta my big mouth!!

And mine, from reading past posts it seems that before you were really down and this would have shown. Confidence is a great thing in business.

Oh, and well done you for getting this far!!